sunlight7
Confident
I feel no desire to actively seek out a relationship (although I feel societal pressure). I know what to look for this time and the signs however, deep down I’m afraid I’ll get love bombed and manipulated again. I have fun, flirting and talking, but the moment someone appears to get serious something in me shifts. And I shut it down. I feel like I attract emotionally needy/damaged (I don’t really know) people or maybe that’s just how I perceive them. The last person I was “talking” too started getting too serious, and he was well aware of my past, and I said to him it’s going to fast I’m not ready for this. He would get drunk and then text me about how he didn’t deserve this and made me feel like shit. The next day I said you’re getting way too serious and I can’t handle you getting drunk and texting me things like that because it triggers me. he was a nice guy and never verbally abused me, but just the fact that he got drunk and started texting me about how he didn’t deserve me pulling away, freaked me out. And I blocked his number blocked his social media and haven’t talk to him since and have no desire too. We were not talking at the time that I blocked him. He was well aware I was done.
I don’t broadcast that I have PTSD , so at work or at other social functions (thankfully I work remote now but unfortunately I have agoraphobia), it’s really difficult because there’s that societal pressure even when talking to someone one on one it gets brought up, it’s like you have to have a serious significant other when you are in your 30s. (which is probably in my own head, even though I know others who feel similar) I don’t broadcast my PTSD because 1, it’s not anybody’s business and 2, because of the stigma that goes along with it and I hate saying that. Sorry this is an issue that really drives me nuts and I needed some place to vent.
I don’t broadcast that I have PTSD , so at work or at other social functions (thankfully I work remote now but unfortunately I have agoraphobia), it’s really difficult because there’s that societal pressure even when talking to someone one on one it gets brought up, it’s like you have to have a serious significant other when you are in your 30s. (which is probably in my own head, even though I know others who feel similar) I don’t broadcast my PTSD because 1, it’s not anybody’s business and 2, because of the stigma that goes along with it and I hate saying that. Sorry this is an issue that really drives me nuts and I needed some place to vent.