Hi
My name is K. This is only recent that I have had trouble in a major way. By re-opening a page from the past that I thought had been ripped out. It all started.
When I was young my Father was very abusive and addicted to hard drugs. He beat my two older brothers and I all the time though I got the least of it as sometimes my mother could hide me. When I was 4 he killed himself.
After my brothers took over being the tormentors. The older physically beat me to the point of out cold many times. Stuffed me into both the washer and dryer and ran the machine for a while. He even would eventually throw me out a second story window... It goes on.
The other was the sexual abuser. For years.
When I was 15 My mother died. I was sent away where more sexual abuse transpired at a foster care facility.
These things lured me into a young life of drugs and bad decisions. Eventually leading to a felony charge and 6 months in jail.
Recently those and all the other things that had happened have come flooding back. I now have a wife and a child and am scared as to how I affect them. Both mentally and financially. I am not abusive or anything at all! In fact I believe I am a good father and a decent husband. I just wonder sometimes if my wife wanted something different after it all came to light. Or if my son is ashamed of his dad for having to have some time to himself or seems to be freaking out or doesn't like people or wont go out to places because I cant trust...
It's getting harder before it is getting better. And that is why I am here.
Thank you
My name is K. This is only recent that I have had trouble in a major way. By re-opening a page from the past that I thought had been ripped out. It all started.
When I was young my Father was very abusive and addicted to hard drugs. He beat my two older brothers and I all the time though I got the least of it as sometimes my mother could hide me. When I was 4 he killed himself.
After my brothers took over being the tormentors. The older physically beat me to the point of out cold many times. Stuffed me into both the washer and dryer and ran the machine for a while. He even would eventually throw me out a second story window... It goes on.
The other was the sexual abuser. For years.
When I was 15 My mother died. I was sent away where more sexual abuse transpired at a foster care facility.
These things lured me into a young life of drugs and bad decisions. Eventually leading to a felony charge and 6 months in jail.
Recently those and all the other things that had happened have come flooding back. I now have a wife and a child and am scared as to how I affect them. Both mentally and financially. I am not abusive or anything at all! In fact I believe I am a good father and a decent husband. I just wonder sometimes if my wife wanted something different after it all came to light. Or if my son is ashamed of his dad for having to have some time to himself or seems to be freaking out or doesn't like people or wont go out to places because I cant trust...
It's getting harder before it is getting better. And that is why I am here.
Thank you
