Avoiding medical anything

[LoveTea]

So, I havn't been to a doctor in 2 years now. I technically have a primary care doctor, but she isn't where I live primarily (I go to college in another state). I know I really need a doctor in my area because I have had very bad experiences with the health center on campus. I'm so overwhelmed with the idea of doing it. My mother has conditioned me away from doctors my whole life, I have been taught to down play everything. I know I need to be honest, but it's almost automatic.

It feels like every aspect to dealing with a doctor is a problem. With my last doctor, my mother forged my name on a HIPPA forms saying she had full access to my records (so I'm scared to tell them anything on top of that). I know they will ask about mental health, I have always lied in the past, but I also didn't have an official diagnosis back then. I have only told 2 people that I have PTSD (of course other people know something is going on but I havn't actually told them). I know they will ask about sexual orientation, and they never understand when I tell them I don't give a shit. I know they will ask about sexual history. I can't talk about that. Only one friend knows what happened, and that relationship is falling apart. I know I have to do it, I keep getting sick all the time, and I' screwed if anything serious happens, but I just don't know what to do.

 

[EveHarrington]

I don't think a primary care doc will ask about your sexual orientation, and as for sexual history, just say you don't want to talk about it. I know even the mention of these topics can be extremely intimidating, but remember, you don't have to tell them anything you don't want to. Just stick with the basics. I mean this doc is going to help you with medical stuff, not psychiatric stuff. Its your right if you don't want to bring these things up to them.

 

[Sideways]

One of the few perks of having ptsd, is my gp takes extra special care with a lot of areas that I'd otherwise just have to suck up. She doesn't press intrusive stuff, at all. She reminded me a while back that I was overdue for a pap smear, and said matter of factly, "but I understand if you can't do that" - end of discussion.

With some people working in medicine, saying "I have ptsd" can sometimes be absolute gold, because they just know how to have a conversation with you and genuinely take care to not make things any more distressing than they already are.

If you're going in for a general checkup, then you tend to get all sorts of questions. But if you go in for a particular reason, for a particular script, it very likely that you won't get asked nearly as many questions as you're anticipating.

In all honesty, I don't think I've had a gp ask me about my sexual orientation, like, ever!

 

[LoveTea]

Thanks for the feed back guys! I've actually been asked about my sexual orientation by multiple doctors on multiple occations. I don't even really have a prolem with the question, more that when I try to explain the whole lack of caring they seem so confused.

I think a lot of what I am anxious about is that I never sought medical anything after everything that happened (especially since I didn't remember much of anything until a few months ago). I'm scared I will end up with a doctor who doesn't understand and will ask too many questions and I get pressured into things I don't want because I am terrible at advocating for myself and when I get uncomfortable I try to "please" the other person.

 

[EveHarrington]

Weird.

I still have no idea why they medically need to know your sexual orientation.

 

[Sideways]

Ok, is this a post-assault/abuse checkup? Like, the first time you've seen a doctor since it happened?

If that's the case? Consider taking written dot points: this is why I'm here. That way the doctor will hopefully be quicker on the uptake, you know that you've told them what they need to know and nothing else, and they can cut straight to the chase.

Know that whatever the case, these appointments have a start and an end. You get to walk away, and when you do, you will have plenty of time to breathe and think about what you've agreed to, and whether or not you actually want/need to go through with it.

You're gonna be ok. And you've got this forum for support if things go pear-shaped.

 

[LoveTea]

I mean as far as I can remember, nothing has happened in 8 years, I have seen a doctor since then, I just didn't know before. I know they will probably ask a bunch of questions that I either don't know the answer to, or don't wanna answer.

 

[Joan]

You do not have to answer anything. I have a great PA it has taken years to tell her a little at a time. She has know PTSD from the beginning. She tells me what would be recommended procedures and allows me to say yes or no...do what I can. I recently had to go to a specialist and it was helpful to state the I needed her to tell me when and where she was going to touch me. So anything you can think of like that to say up front and state your boundaries from the beginning. I wrote it down and took with me so that if panic set in I still had it. Do you see a T? You might could do some role playing or get a recommendation for a more understanding dr.

 

[Scarlet13]

I completely understand some of these concerns. I have a pretty neglectful mother who taught me to down play being sick.
She didn't take me to a doctor after I was hit by a car. She told me to walk it off, basically.
And I have had some medical trauma (mainly with psychiatrists).
So, I get through doctors appts by just simply tolerating it. I give them some rules like I don't want to know how much I weigh (eating disorder history).
I found a DO that I feel comfortable with. She is at an alternative style clinic.

 

[LoveTea]

I do currently have a very good T. I know that if I brought the whole doctor thing up, we would end up talking mostly about my mother, she screwed me up pretty good, but I can talk about her for the most part. I havn't told my T anything else that happened really, she knows a little bit, since my friend told her, but I have never talked about it. I,don't even know large chunks. It's so frustrating (and I feel like it is for my T too since we keep hitting the memory wall). Every once in a while she will try to coax me to say more, well anything really, and my brain just balks.

I definately think writing ahead of time would be very helpful, I tend to end up in periods of mutism when I'm particularly stressed and overwhelmed. I just know I have to find someone and actually go, it's been months of my saying that, and I just know I have to make myself do it.

 

[Brandon]

I continue to take my pills from the VA. But they don't help. So Alcohol and weed are what I am trying along with the meds. Wine taste like Apple juice now.

 

[digger]

Brandon, did you mean to reply here or was your comment meant for another thread?