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- #13
Oh my Michel, It goes both ways so thank you also. I don't know if you've ever seen 'A Christmas Carol' by Dickins? Marley's ghost comes clanking in the room dragging this ton of chains and crap. He can't go anywhere without them, and says 'These are the chains I forged in life, link by link and yard by yard'. Well, that's what this stupid thing feels like to me sometimes. We didn't forge the things but drag them everywhere.
Last night I looked up Dr. Herman's information. She has done a huge amount of research on the manifestations of PTSD, esp. in domestic violence situations and has research on long-term damage. I'm going to try to find some more finite answers because I really, really wish to have a better grasp on where to go from here with what kind of therapy. Living like this is exhausting.
I swooped on the word 'contain' from RJ, here in the forum. It was one of those times where you recognize exactly what someone is talking about in their own experiences, and boy did that resonate! It's the only way I know how to function. Everything in my world is either completey measured and ordered or absolutely chaotic. Chaos panics the crap out of me so.... :) .
It's 20 years out for me and I can't say it's an awful life, but it's exhausting. I'm lucky enough to have found someone who likes me just the way I am. I think if I hadn't been through this dreck I might not have been open to recognizing what a sterling person he is, so there are glimmers of the positive in the carnage.
I'll post something when I find the information I'm looking for. FACTS are comforting. They're contained as heck, for one thing, being on a page one can hold and actually own the finite information. It's also somewhere to go, when the road markers are unclear.
Boy do I sound hokey today!
Anni
Last night I looked up Dr. Herman's information. She has done a huge amount of research on the manifestations of PTSD, esp. in domestic violence situations and has research on long-term damage. I'm going to try to find some more finite answers because I really, really wish to have a better grasp on where to go from here with what kind of therapy. Living like this is exhausting.
I swooped on the word 'contain' from RJ, here in the forum. It was one of those times where you recognize exactly what someone is talking about in their own experiences, and boy did that resonate! It's the only way I know how to function. Everything in my world is either completey measured and ordered or absolutely chaotic. Chaos panics the crap out of me so.... :) .
It's 20 years out for me and I can't say it's an awful life, but it's exhausting. I'm lucky enough to have found someone who likes me just the way I am. I think if I hadn't been through this dreck I might not have been open to recognizing what a sterling person he is, so there are glimmers of the positive in the carnage.
I'll post something when I find the information I'm looking for. FACTS are comforting. They're contained as heck, for one thing, being on a page one can hold and actually own the finite information. It's also somewhere to go, when the road markers are unclear.
Boy do I sound hokey today!
Anni
