Banging on door

[Upside Down Eagle]

I am just going to drop off some frustration.

I live in shared housing. Meaning that we have the same landlord, but I don´t really know the other people in the place.
We share the bathroom and kitchen, though I tend to prepare food in my own studio so I don´t really see them.

Since last week or so the dude who lives next to me has started banging on my door.
I ignored him when he started because I just got home from some rough stuff (I was abroad dealing with a dying relative)

He still knocks, and just can´t take no for an answer it seems.
I know it´s rude for me not to answer. But I don´t have some sort of moral responsibility to answer.

This is my house, and here I need to do what´s best for me. Which is ensure that I feel safe.
Meaning I am not going to talk to strangers as long as I am in my studio.

I have done nothing that could bother him. I keep the music at an extremely civil volume (almost silent) and such.
I tidy up after myself in shared spaces and make every effort to basically be nonexistent. That´s what I like best.

What I´m saying is I´m tired of this ridiculous nonsense.
I know it probably won´t stop until I deal with it, but... I want to feel safe.

I´m aware my behavior is not socially correct, but I don´t care to be honest.
You can give me an opinion, please no moral judgment on what I should be doing though ;-)

 

[zombycat]

Condolences on your lost family member.

I don't think 'normal' responses matter in this situation, tbh. Normal isn't banging on someone's door incessantly to begin with, jussayin'. I, personally, would be creeped the hell out. Do they want to hang out? Are they an axe murderer? Are they just being a troll? Do they want to know if you have any extra laundry detergent? The fact that they don't say anything and that they keep doing it is weird. Does this happen to anyone else who lives there? I think if it continues, the next step would be to try to figure out what they want, like maybe tape a sign to the door that says something like:

QUIT KNOCKING
you annoying butt
and just slide a
note under the door!

 

[Upside Down Eagle]

Thanks, that helps :-)

I often feel like I "should" do something due to pressure from without - like the pressure from this guy to open the door :P It feels better to just stick to my own needs.

 

[zombycat]

When I do that, my T says I'm 'shoulding' all over myself again. I tend to do that a lot. lol But yeah, you do what you need to and let the Banger go flap in the wind or whatever. XD

 

[Ronin]

I think he is in the wrong, not you.

Just because he disagrees with your existence in the same complex does not mean he has the right to harrass you, not once, much less repeatedly.

You are well within your rights to report it to whichever authorities you deem contactable. And to avoid all direct contact, not responding to attempts of contact, as well.

Sorry for the loss of your relative, that is rough.

 

[Abstract]

I have a neighbour that does this randomly. Either the door or the front window. I think they essentially have boundary issues. How does he know you are busy with something, unwell etc If you want to keep it calm you could say that you are sometimes busy and unable to come to the door so please pop a note under your door next time. Its also none of their business if they think you should be more social. Your life.

 

[Upside Down Eagle]

let the Banger go flap in the wind or whatever. XD

Maybe I should let him... knock himself out... (I´ll show myself out)

 

[Abstract]

Maybe I should let him... knock himself out... (I´ll show myself out)

?

 

[zombycat]

Ahahahaha, I see what you did there. Clever. :D

 

[EveHarrington]

It could be something completely benign having to do with the common areas and such. Maybe take the initiative to knock on his door and ask what’s up, that way it’s on your terms, not his, plus you’ll hopefully get him to stop banging!

 

[mumstheword]

I do the same. I don't feel guilty about it anymore. It's just survival and my wellbeing that I reserve the right to protect.

P.S. I liked your joke! Better than a knock knock joke! :-)