Beating Myself Up

[maria]

I think I'm having another one of those emotional flashbacks. The story is I put a ring on layaway and picked it up yesterday. The more I look at it the more I'm sure it isn't the ring I originally chose.

I don't know if this is true or it's just me feeling cheated.

The point, I guess, is that this is making me all upset. Did anyone say PTSD?

Uggggg! I hate myself when I'm like this. Actually the truth is I hate myself most of the time. Except sometimes I can remember what a therapist told me; my life could have turned out much worse. I might never have had kids, who were a joy when they were little even if they don't like me now. I have a nice place to live, enough money to get by and my dog. I got lucky.

Maria

 

[onebravegirl]

What a great post. Way to go in fighting the negative and looking for the possitive. Well done.
I get what you mean about your kids. I have 17 and 7 year old boys. They go hot and cold on me all the time. Sometimes I just want to say "Pick a mood!"
I love them maddly.
A good dog is more reliable than a teen though...
O

 

[maria]

I forgot to mention that I had a great education which I thoroughly enjoy and that I now have a volunteer job which I love.

I just went outside to smoke (I don't smoke in my apartment) and I saw lots of stars. Also a regular blessing.