Becoming Physically Violent During Nightmares?

[Allen-deckard]

I've had nightmares about what started my ptsd for 17 years now but recently they have turned from violent nightmares to me acting them out in the real world in my sleep. Kind of afraid I'm going to hurt my wife. Several times she has had to go sleep in another room while I punch, kick etc. the pillows and mattress.

Anyway anyone else having this issue? I know I'm not unique...what have other people done about it?

 

[LoveWins]

Hi Allen

Yes my nightmares are often physically violent. I remember a time about a year ago I woke with my hands around my throat, choking. In my dream they were the hands of an abuser

Just lately the nightmares have been much calmer but I still tend to kick out and sometimes punch, sometimes I know I'm doing it but can't stop

I tend to finally settle into sleep facing away from my husband so I think I have avoided injuring him. We have a large bed and the extra room really helps too. My nightmares have also generally been far less violent since getting a good sleep pattern and using relaxing techniques during the day, and sleeping with comfort objects (soft toy and a dreamcatcher)

Is there room for you to put a pillow between you in bed maybe? I think I'd try this if our bed was smaller

 

[Pam]

My C and I sleep with a pillow between us. He also does better under a heavy blanket, even a weighted one. Last weekend he brought a blanket down to the ranch house. I have plenty of blankets but somehow he needed this one. The dog helps because he snuggles up next to C on one side and he is snug as a bug in a rug between big Jake on the side, the pillow on the backside, and then me. You can buy weighted blankets. Google "weighted blankets". They even come in King sizes.

 

[2quilt]

I once slugged (is that a word?) a boyfriend right out of bed onto the floor when I was having a nightmare. Poor fella. I almost caused a bruise on his face.

 

[NarcSis]

Allen,

I've hit and wrestled with my husband during nightmares. I did once sleep walk although it wasn't actually a violent thing, he simply guided me back to bed.
Your wife needs to protect herself and you need to accept that the possibility exists that one of you Could get injured in some way if you are starting to physically move around while asleep. Both of you need to discuss the issue frankly and if need be, talk to your doctor or therapist to see if they can assist you.
It is a fairly common occurrence and I can't say how long this stage will be for you but rest assured that it does eventually stop as you regain control of your symptoms.
Take care of yourself.

 

[cynelena]

Allen,

My BF and I just recently moved in together and ever since (about a month ago), he's only slept in the bed with me 2, maybe 3 times. Before we moved in together, he was like glue to me every night! We took turns staying at one another's homes before we moved in together so we slept together 5-6 nights a week. The last thing I expected was for us to sleep separately, yet here we are. He on the couch and me in the bed.

He hasn't come out and said that he's violent in his sleep, but I have come into the room on occasion and he's moaning and tossing. He has said that he doesn't want to keep me up all night.

While I don't have much in the way of advice to give, I can tell you that he says it won't last much longer. I'm assuming it has to do with the worst time of year for triggers for him. I'm hoping it all subsides soon...I miss having him next to me.

I wish you good sleep!

Cynthia

 

[Grainne]

This thread I fully understand. I had night terrors as a child which turned to nightmares/sleepwalking as I grew older (really, I don't think much changed, I just got used to them). My therapist thinks that my fight or flight response was so keen when i was being abused, so tuned into my abuser (my father) and his movements throughout the house, that my conscious mind would not 'stand down' and let me sleep. She thinks that I stayed hyper aware to protect myself, even when resting. When I dream/sleepwalk (nightly, atm) I acutally act out my dreams, and they have been violent in nature many times in my life. My conscious mind does not know I'm asleep, the sleep specialists tell me. I have never hurt anyone aside from myself but I have done some things that should have woken me. I have dressed, gone outside, and started my car before...my husband thankfully stopped me before I put it into gear. We have alarms on our doors that go off when they are opened from the inside (blush) to be sure someone knows I've left in the night...if I do.

Your question was what can be done about them. Well, that's a tough one. The only things that I have come up with so far is to beg forgiveness if I get aggressive in my sleep. I secure myself in my room so I don't wander far, especially when I am stressed. We have heaps of pillows on our bed seperating my husband and I, however, they do little to stop me from thrashing about. (lol..this is embarrassing!) Sadly, my husband and I have pretty much taken to sleeping separately when I'm at my worst. He tolerates the occasional elbow to the face otherwise.

All the best,
Grainne

 

[onebravegirl]

It seems to happen to most of us. I took a drug called Cesamet. It is a sythetic form of Marijuana, and it helped with nightmares and sleep came much easier.
I like the body pillow idea, it cussioned the blows on my husband.
O

 

[Pandoras3of9]

My nightmares tapered off last year for some unknown reason. Anyway I sleep on my back or stomach so when I would have nightmares I'd scream and punch kick etc either up or down.

 

[Matt218]

My mom woke me up the first day I was home on leave, a few weeks since Afghanistan. I slept in till 3 or 4pm, and she woke me up by tapping my foot. I had lunged up at her with a knife before I even knew what was going on... That's the only thing I'm aware of. I get startled a lot in my sleep. Nothing violent aside from that.

 

[rubytuesday]

My boyfriend and I usually sleep separately because he disturbs my sleep by his irregular snoring, violent teeth-grinding, and occasional sleepwalking and night terrors. And we don't even sleep in the same house except for weekends. When he sleepwalks or has night terrors, which isn't often (but which i'm always on guard for), I cannot wake him up, and we have physical struggles during which i try to keep him from leaving the apartment/room, or try to keep him from scaling the walls or furniture. Eventually i can successfully get him back into the bed (last time I was bruised, and he was bloody), and he falls back asleep (for the time being - often he's up again the same night).

I like the idea of the alarm in case the doors are opened from the inside. We are contemplating getting a country home, and I've been wondering about how i'd feel about the sleep issue there...

Anyway, i'm sorry for everyone who is going through this, from either side of it, but i'm sort of glad to hear that other carers DO still manage to carry on with their partners even in the face of possible violence from them.