ED Binge eating ? overeating ?

[anthony]

Eating disorders are psychologically behavioural... which means, you use behaviour therapy to change.

Was your abuse early childhood? Before the eating began? If so... then that is a normal response. If not... then there is something deeper.

 

[Venator]

I think it's a little deeper for me. It started when I was around 10 and my mom started drinking. I wasn't abused - she never laid a hand on me, always had a roof over my head, but it was the beginning of it as a coping habit. "Yo-yoing" at a certain weight and totally binging as soon as I hit it only happened after the abuse.

 

[anthony]

So you took up eating to cope with your mothers drinking?

 

[Venator]

Not entirely sure, to be perfectly honest with you. It's one of those things I plan on talking to my T about next month. I just kind of have scattered memories of sneaking to the fridge to get food and eating it in the bathroom so she wouldn't find me. And I'd eat it as fast as possible, it'd give me hiccups. It started around the time she started drinking heavily, remarried a guy I wasn't fond of etc all the usually negligible problems - so I am presuming there's some correlation, but there may not be.

It may be that my mom overfed me and I connected the food to good feelings. This would also be true.

 

[leanne1321]

I think I use starving myself for 2 reasons.

1st) It's a form of self harming. Eating in general is soothing, something we learn in infancy and I feel like I don't deserve it. And once starving starts, my depression goes down hill fast.

2nd) It's a control thing. I am a control freak, I need to be in control of everything. If I lose this control, I find it hard to cope and eating is one thing that I can control.

 

[Nyx]

I think I use starving myself for 2 reasons.

You know the reasons. But do you do anything about them?

 

[leanne1321]

It's part of my cycle of depression. When I'm not depressed, I eat fine. When depression starts kicking in, I just don't get hungry and the thought of food makes me nautious. For a while, I can force myself to eat small amounts, little and often, but when the depression gets deeper, it's a struggle. I know I sound like I'm contradicting myself, it's like I don't even realise I'm doing it and have little control.

I can deal with it better now, when I was younger and I forced myself to eat, my fingers would go straight down my throat. I haven't done that in 8 years. And I would go 3 or 4 days at a time without eating, now I force myself to eat something each day, even if it's only a banana.

 

[therapybankrupt]

Venator I can identify with your ED! As you do I also eat anything really fast. I am a binger but not all the time. For the past 6 years I have lost and gained 20lbs every 3 months. Very bad for my health. I decided I was going to diet and never gain it back that was in May. I did ok and lost 40 lbs! In the past 4 weeks I have gained 14 lbs. Every night I say I am going to be good tomorow. And I blow it!

Sweets are my problem. Its like and addiction. Once I start I can not stop. I have also started going out to get sweet things at night. I have Mcdonalds and Tim Hortons around the corner. If the weather is to bad or I am broke I make my own by mixing butter and powdered sugar and flavorings or cocoa. Its disgusting I know! I have lost control!

I am not sure if there are triggers but I have had a problem with this since I was very young. I would use the change my grandpa gave me and sneak to the corner store to buy large quantity's of candy or cream stuffed horns. I would eat them as fast as I could and run home. No one even missed me and I got away with that for years! Funny when I was married I lived on a diet and heavy exersize and did not let it get me until the PTSD started. I hate how weak I am![/quote]

 

[therapybankrupt]

I do not have an ED diagnosis but I need to talk to Therapist! I need help! Hugs to everyone suffering from an eating disorder.

 

[anndeb]

I'm not sure of the diagnosis, I too surely do have eating probs.. seems my mother kept control over my eating while I was at home, but i ballooned out, gaining over 100 pounds once I was away from home. Then I lost it all, but couldn't seem to stop losing until I was so skinny I was on the verge of anorexia. Now I'm overweight again, just this side of obesity on the bmi scale.

I too seem to gain when things are going well.. when I am having a relatively secure relationship and good friends to help me feel ok. That's when I seem to be able to relax and enjoy eating and then begin to also eat out of emotions instead of just when I am physically hungry.

I too need help! and my T is helping me sort out some of the difficult feelings I eat over: sadness that my childhood was so dysfunctional, that I never got the nurturing and care I wanted and deserved as a child.. Resentments that my time has been wasted for so many years chasing false dreams, and other people's wishes for me instead of my own. Recognizing and acknowledging these feelings seems to help at least a little. But I will still refuse to stop and ask myself what I am overeating out of so many times, just jumping into the frige instead and piling the weight on.

And my over all health is becoming affected with the extra weight: arthritis in my joints, back pain exacerbated by a heavy stomach, risk for diabetes, and the list goes on. Ugh!

Anyone with suggestions or ideas about what has helped them, especially to be able to lose and then keep it off would be much appreciated!

 

[pi314159]

I am obsessed with eating. I have an all or nothing attitude. At times I have undertaken crazy restrictive diets but typically, I eat without self control. For most meals, I will continue to eat past the point of being full and end up in the bathrooms making myself throw up. Whenever I am home alone I binge and purge repeatedly. I will purge at restaurants, at work, at friends' houses as I don't stop myself eating and leave myself no choice . I will eat till I am in pain, throw up and then eat more and throw up again.

I'm addicted to both sides, the pleasure from eating and the pain from purging. It feels right when I'm struggling to breathe because I have thrown up so much.

I won't let myself help myself. I keep trying to make positive changes, but in the end all my bad thoughts win and come on even stronger than before. I don't understand how people are strong enough to overcome self punishment. I like and hate hurting myself.......I can't win :(

 

[anndeb]

((Pi)) sometimes it is awfully difficult to help ourselves.. are you getting any help for this: therapy has taken me far beyond what I could ever imagine for myself. If you can find a good one, one who is good for you that may be a good start .. give it a try if you can. You can find help out there!