Bits And Pieces Of My Story

[xxxjoi]

I really don't have much a recollection of my past abuse. I do remember that I used to be one of the smartest and brightest children in my class. Until the abuse began. After that I became insecure and even violent. I threw sandwiches in children's faces. I even bit one boy on my school bus until he bled.

Anyway, I am 21 now and I desperately want to feel okay. I can't even explain irrational thoughts that I have. Like that my bed is a dangerous place. How I avoid sleep because I have nightmares about him. I couldn't stand living with him anymore and I ended up running away at 15. Of course I was found and escorted back home, oh I got it that night.

I came to college when I was 17 and I discovered the freedom to drink and drug all I wanted. It was easy because instead of feeling, all I did was drink and I would lose a whole day and night's worth of emotion. It was freeing. Of course, this got me in a lot of trouble as I started to fail classes and ended up in the hospital.

I am glad to say today I am working towards feeling better, and that's my story.

 

[lyrical]

Hello,
Thankyou for sharing your story. Parts of it sound very familiar to me, others less so. But everyones stories different. It's good that you're working towards feeling better, I dare say as with me some days are better than others. I think you're very brave to post some of your story on here and whilst I don't feel that brave yet I do admire you, so just wanted to reply to say so.
Lyrical x

 

[OMNICELL]

Ive had sleeping phobia's. I could not be in the bed, in my bedroom. Therefore, I could not sleep. I would pass out during the daytime. Things are better now. So, your not alone.

Keep working the recovery process.