Boundaries are important and real

[wallygator]

Ever since I was young and this problem started I always felt that I needed to be saved or somehow loved by people I met.

It has always troubled me how these feelings of need made me feel. I would always do the points listed in the linked article. I always felt that I was having conversations somehow or that the people in my life were reading my mind or my feelings and judged me.

But I am now learning and understanding that none of that was true, and that what I was being taught in CBT was true: that no one has time to focus on me because they have their own problems in life. But I could never get it I still have a hard time.

It is only with the medication that I am taking that I feel a quiet sense of silence in my mind about other people and how I felt they have ill intentions towards me. With the medication I feel safer and I do not have to worry about what other people think of me real or imagined.

The linked article talks about why I do these things when not on medication and it makes more sense now that I can see it without the noise in my mind. The lack of boundaries has really handicapped my life. I am hoping to grow more with the help of the medication so that I do not have to feel less than others. I hope it helps you too.

 

[deno]

I really relate to this. I spent years feeling like I had to earn my place in people’s lives—like if I was useful enough, kind enough, or just tried hard enough, maybe I’d finally feel secure and loved. But the harder I tried, the more it felt like I was chasing something I could never quite catch.

It took me a long time to understand that most people aren’t focused on me the way I imagined they were. They’re wrapped up in their own lives, just like I am in mine. But knowing that and feeling that are two different things, and sometimes, no matter how much I told myself I was overthinking, I couldn’t quiet the noise in my head.

I’m glad you’ve found something that gives you relief. Feeling safer in your own mind is a huge step. Learning boundaries, not just with others but with my own thoughts, has been a big part of my journey too. It’s not easy, but it does get better. Keep going—you’re on the right track.

 

[Rose White]

Yes I fully agree with you