Holly,
Is he seeing a therapist?
He sounds like he is possessive of you, maybe just overly concerned? You have a right to boundaries as far as him knowing what you are doing every waking second.
Running into marriage is never going to be a good idea any way you slice it. How about focusing on whether or not your relationship right now is totally healthy as it stands?
My brother is my chief abuser. We were inseparable until the memories surfaced and everything came out of the closet.
I feel very affronted by people when I can't talk about my childhood because my brother was in some way involved. Of course. We spent LOTS of time together. He wasn't abusing me every moment of my life, at least not in a tangible way. It's been very hard for me to either decide to not talk about my childhood around people who know what he did (because they are confused by why I would bring him up) or talk about it and suffer everyone's confusion. I bet your boyfriend spent a lot of time in the service. It's hard to not talk about past lives lived to people who are in our new/present lives. Imagine if someone told you that you could never talk about high school because you hated X, Y, and Z about it.
