O
Overwhelmed Hubby
Hi,
First post here. Just wondering if anyone has any good advice for breaking the cycle of unproductive arguments? My wife experiences bad emotional flashbacks and when she is triggered we tend to descend into a black hole of cyclical arguments that consume more and more energy and get more challenging as she becomes more emotionally dysregulated. I try and remain calm, create space for her emotions and validate her concerns (even if I disagree) but after several hours of reiterating why she’s so upset it’s difficult to not get defensive or need a break due to feeling overwhelmed. I haven’t found a way to gently pause the argument until things have calmed down, without further triggering her - she tends to associate me needing a break to regather myself and let things calm down with a rejection, or me ‘not prioritising her’.
Any advice from people further down the road?
First post here. Just wondering if anyone has any good advice for breaking the cycle of unproductive arguments? My wife experiences bad emotional flashbacks and when she is triggered we tend to descend into a black hole of cyclical arguments that consume more and more energy and get more challenging as she becomes more emotionally dysregulated. I try and remain calm, create space for her emotions and validate her concerns (even if I disagree) but after several hours of reiterating why she’s so upset it’s difficult to not get defensive or need a break due to feeling overwhelmed. I haven’t found a way to gently pause the argument until things have calmed down, without further triggering her - she tends to associate me needing a break to regather myself and let things calm down with a rejection, or me ‘not prioritising her’.
Any advice from people further down the road?