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Brock Turner Case

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SevSchuur

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Hello, this is my first time posting - but I've been having an amazingly hard time this week thanks to the Brock Turner case. My mood swings have been all over the case, and I've been so rage filled that I feel like such a bad mum. I keep yelling at my son and then crying because I've made him cry. I hate that I've got PTSD, and am taking steps to avoid seeing anything related to it on social media, but that doesn't make the rage go away. I'm on a mild dose of antidepressants, but that doesn't seem like it's doing enough. I keep stopping and reminding myself that my rage and anger isn't my son, or my husband's fault, and that's helping somewhat, but it hasn't been easy.
 
The case has trigger impacts for me. I stay away from most social media about this. I do post here about how this case is raising awareness about SA and legal process, which for me is empowering while triggering. A tight rope walk between trigger and so damn glad that someone is getting justice. The wave of attention is necessary to change the rape culture and the legal process. "Keep your eyes on the prize, hold on."

Sweet Honey in the Rocks -
youtube.com/watch?v=D_tcZAqQUAg
 
:hug:

I agree-----stay away from media that upsets you.

I only watch political channels so while that stuff is upsetting in its own right, I really see no news that is triggering to me.
 
It's pissed me off too. I do my best to avoid the news but find it difficult. I have several friends living in different states ehere our contact is thought social media.
 
We had a commission investigating csa in church schools here recently, which was majorly awful for me with it being all over the news. So I bought the paper each day, and made a point of reading what I could when I was in a safe space. Then I journalled about it and talked about it with my T.

It was an incredibly confronting and, frankly, destabilising process. But it was also important to me to witness the community outrage at the abuse being uncovered. Because I could relate so much to some of the stories, I found it really important for my perspective on my own abuse - being confronted by just how outraged the community was, it made it clearer in my head that what happened to me was also an outrage. And that I wasn't alone.

I won't pretend it was an easy time for me, and I wouldn't have done it without processing it with my T. But in retrospect, it was definitely very helpful for me. Just don't face it alone.
 
@Ragdoll Circus
You pointed something out to me indirectly. I back,away too much from things. I just can't see myself talking about this to anyone. I finally figured out part of why. I always have to be "strong." Showing any "weak" emotion is "dangerous." What's more ironic: third session in I had a panic attack in front of him.
 
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