If you are not feeling ok with talking to your school counselor, have you been thinking about another person you would find it easier to speak openly with? Perhaps some of your teachers, or maybe your friends - do you have somebody who you know well - if you are not willing to talk to anybody inside your family, I think it´s not neccessary in the first place - but I think that real life support, non-judgmental support, is for the best.
I would suggest you not to focus on your brother´s intentions during that time - it doesn´t matter now, maybe you will feel the need to talk with him later, but if you feel you can not handle such conversation at this very moment, you don´t have to go through this... I am glad you are able to see what is most important - you and your life today. You did no wrong during the time you were little, there was nothing wrong with your reactions - it is natural to feel good while touching somebody close to you, children of such young age do not distinguish whether it´s acceptable or not. You did nothing to be ashamed of...
I am sorry you are feeling confused right now, perhaps as if something has been stolen from you? Things that happened in the past sometimes seem very powerful, overwhelming - but they do not determine your life, your future - you can live a full, happy life without this frightening shade of guilt. You can learn to love yourself, day by day, one tiny step after another. You can learn to accept your sexuality as a part of yourself - being a gay is nothing to be ashamed of. You can live in relationships based on mutual love, trust and respect. You deserve to live that way!
I honestly think that the help of a skilled therapist is really great during your healing - you can be healed, you deserve to be healed... Maybe your school counselor could give you an advice about how to contact a psychologist - without you actually telling her/him all the details, you can mention that you are struggling with some sort of childhood trauma - or something similar to that.
