RussellSue
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My big sister turned 44 today. She suffered several years of sexual abuse from my stepfather and plenty of other hell from my mother and others in the family. She was pretty rough on me for several years as a result.
But now we are good.
For her birthday, I sent her a mermaid toy and a bunch of stickers. I also ordered her Hopscotch Rabbit Calico Critters (3.25" tall rabbit toys and their 2 children) along with a tiny living room set for them.
I think the mermaid was kind of meh but the rabbits made her cry. She always wanted some when we were kids but my mom said they were too expensive. She loves them.
I usually buy her stickers or toys. I think I am just now realizing how often I buy her stickers or toys.
She had a flashback the other day after we had talked about my stepfather. I rarely have flashbacks and never due to talking but I spent 15 years in talk therapy. I now know I need to be more careful when talking to her. I am just learning because we living a long distance from one another and just started talking again about 1.5 years ago. We've been off an on for all of our lives but I think we are going to make it this time.
What concerns me is that I know I send her toys because her childhood was torn from her and she likes them BUT I fear that I might be drudging up things I should be more careful about.
Does anyone have any insight on this?
( I guess I should have explained that things are still very confusing for me with my sister because she dissociates a lot and has huge memory gaps. She is constantly up and down and I've gotten to where I don't trust her to tell me if things are bothering her because she doesn't realize until it is too late.
I was thinking that maybe someone with sexual abuse issues would have some experience with how toys like ones from childhood affect them. I don't have her history of sexual abuse so I don't relate to a lot of what she goes through. )
But now we are good.
For her birthday, I sent her a mermaid toy and a bunch of stickers. I also ordered her Hopscotch Rabbit Calico Critters (3.25" tall rabbit toys and their 2 children) along with a tiny living room set for them.
I think the mermaid was kind of meh but the rabbits made her cry. She always wanted some when we were kids but my mom said they were too expensive. She loves them.
I usually buy her stickers or toys. I think I am just now realizing how often I buy her stickers or toys.
She had a flashback the other day after we had talked about my stepfather. I rarely have flashbacks and never due to talking but I spent 15 years in talk therapy. I now know I need to be more careful when talking to her. I am just learning because we living a long distance from one another and just started talking again about 1.5 years ago. We've been off an on for all of our lives but I think we are going to make it this time.
What concerns me is that I know I send her toys because her childhood was torn from her and she likes them BUT I fear that I might be drudging up things I should be more careful about.
Does anyone have any insight on this?
( I guess I should have explained that things are still very confusing for me with my sister because she dissociates a lot and has huge memory gaps. She is constantly up and down and I've gotten to where I don't trust her to tell me if things are bothering her because she doesn't realize until it is too late.
I was thinking that maybe someone with sexual abuse issues would have some experience with how toys like ones from childhood affect them. I don't have her history of sexual abuse so I don't relate to a lot of what she goes through. )
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