can’t get out of this low

[ImSad]

I wish I had something to offer. Do you let yourself cry or do you try to stop yourself? Like accept that your depressed, let yourself feel it, let yourself cry. Don’t judge it, don’t try to stop it.

Like sometimes if I just let myself cry and cry, eventually it just stops and I fall asleep. But if I feel like I have to stop myself and dry it up, as my mom would say, it keeps sneaking back up on me.

Yesterday I let myself cry freely. This morning I did for a short period of time, but tried to stop it. Mostly because my partner was home so I wasn’t alone, and I really don’t like to break down like that around anyone else. I’ve got to go to work for the night soon, so i have to sort of “wrap it up” for the day. I’m trying to work on letting myself feel my feelings without pushing them down.

 

[piratelady]

I really don’t like to break down like that around anyone else.

I can relate to this.

One thing I’ve started doing is just focusing solely on my breathing for a few minutes, like taking a long deep breath in. While I do that, literally think “I am breathing in” then exhaling slowly thinking “I am breathing out” and doing that for a little while, thinking of nothing else. It seems to help me shut off everything that is going inside my head for a little while.

This depression will pass. You can get through it. Just focus on one day, or even one hour at a time. Like the great movie, What About Bob,... baby steps :hug:

 

[KimmyO]

=( I'm so sorry! I do hope you find a way to get beyond this and enjoy life again! I have found that taking magnesium (magnesium malate is best) and ginseng helped me a lot w both, they calm the mind body and spirit and get rid of sticky negative thoughts the loop around in the mind. Also, getting outside, laying on the grass to get grounded and breathe in fresh air, looking at stars, these things help a lot too. Our environment help or hurt our mental health and physical health. Speak aloud positive truths to counteract the negative thoughts and things said to us. Also, Volunteering helps us get our of our own misery to help others, which helps us. Call those negatives a lie and correct them to yourself. Protect yourself from those who put that added stress on you and go out and do new challenging things, take classes, go t meetups. Learn new things, meet new people, it will get you out of the pit. Hope this helps you, blessings!

 

[ImSad]

Thanks, @KimmyO and @piratelady. All very good suggestions here. I will definitely be utilizing the breathing technique throughout my work shift tonight.

I am also starting a new advocacy job soon, so hopefully that will help. I’ve been browsing through some meet up groups for things like mental health support groups, yoga, and hiking. I moved to a new city a little over a year ago and don’t really have any friends here, aside from work colleagues but we don’t really hang out outside of work. So hopefully finding support within these meet up groups will be helpful. It’s just hard because my favorite maladaptive coping mechanism when I’m feeling this way is to isolate, and I don’t have any friends here that will ask me to hang out and force me out of isolation when they know that’s what I’m doing.

 

[hithere]

I just wanted to let you know that I read your post, and I'm really sorry you are in this low, dark place. I can I'm pretty sure I know what you mean. If it gives you any hope I came out of it about a week ago I think. I have no idea how. So I hope you have this experience very soon, where the dark lifts from your being. I don't like to hug people, but sending you a hug in my thoughts. Hang in there.

Speak aloud positive truths to counteract the negative thoughts and things said to us.

I have found that this actually does work when just by shear will power I force myself to do it. sometimes, it's grief stored in my body, and i have to allow it to get out and connect the dots back to the "events" and allow myself to feel robbed. Other times I have to speak the opposite out loud of what I'm feeling and it strangely works. (at least for me)

 

[ImSad]

Thanks, @hithere. I appreciate your replies. I hope this lifts soon. It’s so strangely different from the depression I usually feel. Now that I’m thinking about it, I have felt this way around the same time of year for at least the past few years. Where it’s not the usual down in the dumps, lazy, empty, hollow depression. But instead one that just..hurts. Where I can do nothing but cry. Where I’m just so f*cking sad I don’t know what to do about it. I guess if nothing else it’s helpful to know that if this happens around the same time every year, then that means that it will lift eventually. I just don’t know how much longer I can endure this without dropping all the responsibilities in my life and basically ruining it.

 

[talon]

I’m stuck and I can’t find my way out. Hit a low a few weeks ago, lots of suicidal ideation. It let up for a few days and I thought the slump was temporary. But I’m back to this feeling. Woke up a couple days ago and immediately started sobbing. Today feels so dark. So empty. Spent lots of it so far sobbing. The depression where I’m low and dark but mostly numb is one thing. But i know it’s bad when I switch between empty and full on sobbing. It feels like it’s never going to end. I don’t want to keep going through this.

I know its easy to go down a downward spiral where you feel you are in a dark pit and just as you reach the top you slide down again . The 1st thing you need to remember is you are not alone and people care about you love you even not from sympathy but empathy. We don't have to know you because we have all been there . Just remember you are here because you are a survivor not a victim . Allowing our abusers in our life when not invited is not on . Time to say enough is enough i don't live in that dark place anymore i have moved on . You cannot and will not hurt me anymore

 

[hithere]

@ImSad how are you today? any better?

 

[ImSad]

@hithere I’m doing much better today. Had a really rough morning — haven’t been sleeping through the night and had lots of memories flooding back to where I sort of broke down. Was able to get some work done of talking to my parts, which is a first for me. So I didn’t get stuck there.

Also in a pretty good mood today because I am going to get a tattoo today after work. It’s a piece i’ve wanted for a while and it’s going to cover up a lot of my old self harm scars so I’m really really excited to finally get that done so I can stop feeling so self conscious and wearing long sleeves all the time.

 

[hithere]

@hithere I’m doing much better today. Had a really rough morning — haven’t been sleeping through the night and had lots of memories flooding back to where I sort of broke down. Was able to get some work done of talking to my parts, which is a first for me. So I didn’t get stuck there.

Also in a pretty good mood today because I am going to get a tattoo today after work. It’s a piece i’ve wanted for a while and it’s going to cover up a lot of my old self harm scars so I’m really really excited to finally get that done so I can stop feeling so self conscious and wearing long sleeves all the time.

Thanks for sharing. way to go with doing the "work"-I no it's not easy and scary - and lonely. but that is so great your getting a tattoo,!

 

[Sabio77]

Yesterday I let myself cry freely. This morning I did for a short period of time, but tried to stop it. Mostly because my partner was home so I wasn’t alone, and I really don’t like to break down like that around anyone else. I’ve got to go to work for the night soon, so i have to sort of “wrap it up” for the day. I’m trying to work on letting myself feel my feelings without pushing them down.

Hi ImSad, I'm sorry you are going thru a rough season right now. May I ask what has made you so sad and depressed? Have you talked to anyone to help your inner pain? I know that when I talk to my professional or a trusted friend, it helps me get a handle on understanding why and what to do next time those feelings pop up. You are not alone for feeling down. I have been through it and have found light at the end of the tunnel. It is a process but it is definitely doable and worth it. One step at a time, one day at time. Forgive those that have hurt you and yourself. You are one the right track by recognizing something is wrong and then talking about it here where you have friends like me to talk to. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Believe in yourself, don't be hard you. Give yourself some time to reach goals. one day at time. Hugs

 

[ImSad]

Hi ImSad, I'm sorry you are going thru a rough season right now. May I ask what has made you so sad and depressed? Have you talked to anyone to help your inner pain? I know that when I talk to my professional or a trusted friend, it helps me get a handle on understanding why and what to do next time those feelings pop up. You are not alone for feeling down. I have been through it and have found light at the end of the tunnel. It is a process but it is definitely doable and worth it. One step at a time, one day at time. Forgive those that have hurt you and yourself. You are one the right track by recognizing something is wrong and then talking about it here where you have friends like me to talk to. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Believe in yourself, don't be hard you. Give yourself some time to reach goals. one day at time. Hugs

Not super sure what made me so sad and depressed. Partly seasonal, partly trauma stuff, partly bipolar disorder I think. I have slowly been coming out of it. But yes, I’ve seen both my therapist and pdoc in the last week. It has helped to talk about some of it and I’ll be starting on a new med to hopefully help with the depression.