DID Can did be provoked by suggestion?

[theshadowoftheliving]

So even in the hands of an unethical therapist, she couldn't suggest my dissociated self into having DID even when she pushed and pushed for it to happen.

And no one suggested me into having the dissocitative symptoms and fragmented parts now, and no one could suggest me into further development of full DID.

If that was possible, the all the attempts to suggest me out of it would have worked too.

Thank you for this. It is really helpful to read, really reassuring. I don't think anyone is trying to talk me into a dissociative disorder, so at least there is that.

It would seem desirable to have the current therapist talk to the new therapist, to at least shorten that process. Or perhaps you can get a letter from the current therapist describing what their strategy is, and talk to the new therapist about the letter? It definitely seems worthwhile to talk to the current therapist about this concern and see what they can do to help.

I was going to talk to her today, but she called and cancelled on me just hours before the session. I am hoping there can be some communication between the old therapist and the new therapist, if I can ever see the old therapist or find a new therapist.

Sorry, I don't mean to be dramatic. Just feeling so lost and sad right now.

 

[theshadowoftheliving]

Talked with my therapist about diagnosis today and she told me that it "doesn't seem like you meet the criteria for Dissociative Identity Disorder."

I should be happy about this but somehow I left the session feeling devastated and like my experiences were being undercut. I feel like I need to just get over myself and stop it. Stop the fragmentation. Stop the weird things that happen and just act normal. Nothing is that bad in my life; why can't I just make it work?

I've had a lot of really weird experiences that I can't quite quantify recently, mostly about a part that seems to have a name of her own, a little girl I think I invented back when I was small. Sometimes I can't shut her up but now I really feel like I have to. I don't feel like I can bring it up in therapy because anything I do is just being dramatic. It's not that I want the diagnosis but I also feel like I've withheld so much information from my therapist out of fear.

Now I just really, really want to hurt myself. Trying to resist. But I feel like I've f%$%^& up somehow and just need to pay the price for that.

 

[Dissociated1]

if you're pretending, do it now.

I never thought about this but it is amazingly true! My 13 year old female alter makes a game out of pretending to be me when she needs to talk to my wife, and I have been stuck in the uncomfortable position of having to take over when she is fronting and something causes her to go back to the internal world in my mind. I do a good enough job that a friend might if I am OK After 5 years of therapy our couples psychologist still can't tell when my female alter does this in therapy, but there is no fooling my wife. She knows us both too well for my alter to pull off the charade.

 

[JEKBreatheandBelieve]

I've had a lot of really weird experiences that I can't quite quantify recently, mostly about a part that seems to have a name of her own, a little girl I think I invented back when I was small. Sometimes I can't shut her up but now I really feel like I have to. I don't feel like I can bring it up in therapy because anything I do is just being dramatic. It's not that I want the diagnosis but I also feel like I've withheld so much information from my therapist out of fear.

A lot of people don't understand DID and aren't qualified to diagnosis. I had to a dissociative questionnaire that had over 200 questions in it plus another one and I had already had a diagnosis (which stayed). So you might just be talking to the wrong therapist. Or you are having another dissociative experience that would be lumped into the category of "dissociative disorder not otherwise specified".

You didn't make any mistakes. You are just living with hard stuff and stuff so many people don't understand. And following @Dissociated1 's thoughts, my therapists say it's really hard to tell who is out at different times because a lot of my switches are subtle.

 

[Dissociated1]

The shifts are often very subtle. It's important to remember DID is a disorder of secrecy. The victim's life depended on the coping mechanism not being detected.by the perpetrator. My System did an amazing job at simulating a healthy person for nearly 50.years. It wasn't until it collapsed and my female alter became self aware that she needed regular time to front for the System. Their is no confusing us then. I can literally walk into the mens room in a tee shirt and a pair of jeans when she comes to front, tuck this and comb that and people will see me as a woman when I come out. But regardless of whether my female alter or I am fronting, we flip-flop back and forth undetectably, each of us handling what we do best as I go about day to day life.

 

[theshadowoftheliving]

You didn't make any mistakes. You are just living with hard stuff and stuff so many people don't understand. And following @Dissociated1 's thoughts, my therapists say it's really hard to tell who is out at different times because a lot of my switches are subtle.

I'm trying to not be too hard on myself; I do, however, feel like I've made some grave mistake one of assuming things I shouldn't have. One of wanting a rational explanation. I think that the shame now comes from the idea that if nothing is really wrong with me, j should just be able to fix it. But I've been trying and I can't, which makes me feel like such a failure.

The shifts are often very subtle. It's important to remember DID is a disorder of secrecy. The victim's life depended on the coping mechanism not being detected.by the perpetrator

Thank you for the perspective. I'm trying really hard to be healthy but it feels like such a sham.

 

[Sandstone]

the shame now comes from the idea that if nothing is really wrong with me, j should just be able to fix it. But I've been trying and I can't, which makes me feel like such a failure.

I know that feeling, all too well

Can you explain how you've made the leap from

she told me that it "doesn't seem like you meet the criteria for Dissociative Identity Disorder."

to having nothing wrong with you at all? Based on what you've told her, your T has excluded the most extreme version of the dissociative disorders. Why does that suggest to you that you have no condition at all?

 

[Souptree]

I just wanted to post to say thanks to everyone who's shared here.. I came here from Google and after reading a few threads am so relieved that people are asking the same questions I have and getting such helpful responses.

 

[theshadowoftheliving]

@Sandstone I'm just struggling in general today. And yesterday. And the day before. I'm feeling like I need to disappear and reading everything as rejection. Sent my therapist an awful email last night and I remember just bawling about it, but now I can't seem to recall why I was so upset over a really insignificant matter (a missed phone call). Her telling me that I didn't meet the diagnostic criteria just was yet another under cut that I read as pure rejection, I think. Working on that. Working on it.

 

[Sandstone]

I do feel for you. That sense of rejection, and of needing to disappear is often with me.

I often wonder if the inability to recall why something was distressing, or how I felt about it at the time is part of the dissociative condition. Or is it just normal forgetting, self protective, because no-one can go on sustaining it all, all the time?

 

[Dissociated1]

All of this is true! The inability to recall why something was distressing, or how a person felt about it at the time are both examples of dissociation. My trauma therapist explained there is a spectrum with examples like these or losing track of time while driving on one end, and full dissociative identities on the other. In and of itself dissociation is a healthy self protective mechanism used by everyone. It becomes a disorder when it begins to negatively impact our lives.

 

[theshadowoftheliving]

@Sandstone I can't ever decide, either. I understand dissociation in an intellectual sense, but I lack an understanding of how other people think and how my experience relates to theirs.

On a separate note, I asked my therapist to give me some material to read. When I got home and took a look at what she had given me, it was all about DID and how to treat, DID. So, another layer to the puzzle ....