Can You Conquer A Fear Of The Unknown?

[ifonly]

Sometimes I am so paralyzed with fear that I can't even open my emails b/c I don't know what they will say. Or I can't open my post b/c I am afraid of what is in the envelope. Reading my bank statement doesn't even happen - I just put the envelope in a box and hide from it.

I've purposefully divested myself of possessions so I don't have to worry about what might happen to them. And even friends, yes. Each year, I chop a couple of friends off my friends' tree.

As it is, I pretty much have nothing except the skin I'm in and my sanity b/c these are known quantities/qualities.

Is it possible to overcome this paralyzing fear of 'what happens next?' I tried to start small but even that was so stressful I was exhausted.

Thanks heaps for any feedback or thoughts :) I appreciate it.

 

[Lionheart]

Wow! The great unknown...such a major fear for so many of us:confused:....still, I think it is possible to reduce the amount of fear you have :) and adjust your reaction to it, ....although it takes time and dedication to a healing path...are you in therapy or receiving counseling?

I know that with PTSD, we have a tendency to worry and catastrophize; constantly visualizing the worst case scenario due to hypervigilence. I have found that a combination of cognitive/behavioral therapy and medication has helped to decrease my symptoms. Hope this helps you.

LH

 

[The Albatross]

Yes. (The short answer)

 

[ifonly]

Hiya Lionheart

Thanks so much - yep, I'm doing CBT & am on meds. I've found that when I'm tired I tend to over-catasrophise markedly more than normal (which is all the time). But I tend to be tired quite often b/c sleep eludes me due to the nightmares & insomnia so it's a bit of a catch-22.

I'm going to start EMDR in the hope it will help me to sleep. Perhaps that will give me the space to dedicate more time to working on being brave lol

:)

 

[ifonly]

Yes. (The short answer)

Yay - thanks, Albatross! There might be a small light at the end of my long and narrow tunnel :)

 

[The Albatross]

The over tired observation is a good one. I also tend to do better when I can shift my focus on something that takes concentration... like playing tetris, solitare, cooking with a new recipe. For the insomnia, I try to do something every day that will get me body tired... it has been helping alot this year. Hope you can get some relief soon ifonly.

 

[The Albatross]

There might be a small light at the end of my long and narrow tunnel :)

You bet there is. I am a former agoraphobic and actively isolated for a year and a half. So I understand what you're going through.

 

[ifonly]

You bet there is. I am a former agoraphobic and actively isolated for a year and a half. So I understand what you're going through.

Thanks, Alba :)

You were agoraphobic and you're not in that same space now Albatross? Wow. This is really encouraging.

I hope you don't mind me asking, but did you achieve that with CBT and meds? On some level, I'm aware that I am afraid of even conquering the fear of the unknown, b/c it comes with the ptsd b/c which has ruled my life for over 30yrs. So I feel like I need to conquer the fear of letting go of my fear of conquering the unknown.

It is even a scary prospect to contemplate not having anything to worry about! LOL ... altho no doubt that is rooted in control. Och.

 

[Sazza]

Wow your original post struck a cord, i can so relate to it and have at times been like that. For me its all about avoidance along with the fear, but for me its more avoidance because i feel overwlelmed and lacking confidence in facing up to things of what might be.

I think things can improve over time, although we will always have set backs during the tough periods. It isn't easy and as always the potential of fear overtaking is so easy. Often when we do gradually face these things they are never as bad as the fear allows us to think they will be.

The mind is a powerful thing ah, i still have a long way to go on the fight or flight fear front.

 

[The Albatross]

You were agoraphobic and you're not in that same space now Albatross? Wow. This is really encouraging.
I hope you don't mind me asking, but did you achieve that with CBT and meds? .

CBT, REBT (Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy), a shrink (no trauma specialist in my area so it's "freeflow" stream of consciousness), cranio sacral therapy and some faith based recovery (I was an alcoholic too) and AA. I found, for myself, I had no problem believing in something higher than myself... so I am faith based, but not exclusively... I found a lot of progress in CBT and REBT and learned I respond to peer support. I am med free except for an allergy pill and vitamins and probiotics (I had chronic malnutrition when I got sober and have a ton of adult onset allergies).

I was on effexor for a year... tried some other things but found I was having increased suicidal thoughts and self harm... so I came to accept that basically I am one of those people who just have to slug it out with my PTSD... without meds. I use whole nutrition, exercise, and a belief system that has God in it... I find I am able to do, be, withstand more as a Christian. But here, with many ways of doing things... you just need to find what works for YOU.

 

[maddog]

Thanks Alba, your journey is an encouragement to all of us, and I related to much of it. I was interested to note your use of REBT too, I don't see it mentioned often around here. My T is a massive proponent of it - Albert Ellis is one of his key pinup boys I think, and while at times I find this to be one of the most gruelling, frustrating, seemingly unattainable therapy styles, and in truth it's one I quite actively shunned and criticised for a time, I am very recently coming to see that there is a lot of value in what REBT promotes. As you say, combined with CBT, I think they are a fairly formidable combination when it comes to conquering this fear of the unknown stuff, or any symptoms which are based on irrational or destructive thought patterns or held beliefs. Tearing into those is like tearing out your soul and leaving you without one for a while, and in my experience they are slow, exhausting and feature a lot of, at times, fairly heated arguing with my T and stubborn desperate resistance from me, so they're never going to be popular or pretty therapies, but I do think they work if you can hang in there.

I so deeply relate to this fear of the unknown. In fact, if I had to identify the most dabilitating feature of my world right now, this would be it. More later maybe, it's hard to think about this stuff this morning.

Maddog

 

[lost4awhile]

Ifonly, I think what you said about overcomming your fear of fearing something is the key here. I am doing the same thing right now, but I decided the only way I can do it is how I did it before(un-medicated and without giving my syptoms power over my life). Being in therapy and trying a millions kinds of meds leaves you feeling like you have even less control. It seemed like the more I analyzed my ptsd, my feelings and the more I tried to anticipate what would trigger me and how I would panic the worse I got because I was always thinking about it. So I am going to try what I did before and control my thoughts better. It's going to be hard since I have spent so much time being anxious and trying to treat my symptoms, but if I just keep trying and making an honest effort then eventually I have to stop fearing things so much.

Sure our minds are constantly going, but training your mind how to focus when it is in a cyclone of fear and over-thinking is my goal. I did it before and I believe I can accomplish it again. The constant stress was there before and it took me a long time to learn how to function, but I functioned the best when I did not give my weaknesses any power. I think this is best said by a book I read about the mind...an autistic girl was afraid of the automatic doors at the grocery store, but every day she went to the store and tried to go in, until she eventually could and although she was extremely nervous she was able to do it again and yet again because she knew she could, she didnt question "if" only "when." After days of being able to pass through the doors, she feared it less and less until it was just a momentary thought of how she used to feel about it. She ended up not fearing it! I think we feel hopeless so often because we LET ourselves feel hopeless by the way we THINK. We focus on it and then we loose control. But, if we have the constant mind-set that we are in control and everything will be fine, as well as being aware of your thoughts ridding of negative thoughts and refocusing no matter how mentally exhausting it is, then it must become automatic right?