Can You Cry? If So, What Do You Cry About?

[pandora]

Sorry about the spelling...too sedatd stillfrom my day procedure.

 

[Thornyrose]

I tend to cry more over other people's hurt more than I do my own. I was thinking about this today as I watched the news. I started crying over a story I heard about a family that was killed in a fire yesterday. I always seem to get really emotional over hearing such things, but for some reason, when I think of things that happened to me, I get more numb than anything else.

I am the same -I feel huge empathy for people who have gone through horrible things, but am completely numb and cut off from myself. Its almost like I get a chance to by-proxy my feelings of sadness. But I don't cry unless I am feeling utterly out of control and having bad self-hatred feelings which I can't deal with, and its frustration I feel at these times, not sadness. (If I ever start to feel sad for myself, I make sure to feel angry instead, that way I am strong enough to get on with things)

 

[2tired2deal]

Now that I've started back into intense therapy, I cry at the drop of a hat. My T claims it's because I'm 'allowing' my grief, from the past, to come forward. I'm in a safe place now, so I can. But darn, it's annoying.

 

[tude]

Hmm...how honest do I want to be?

Crying makes me feel weak and vulnerable. Needless to say, I don't cry very often. When I do, it's hidden or suppressed.

I shed tears when the Chicago Bulls won their second and third championship titles. I was overwhelmed by their achievement won through teamwork, commitment, and hard work.

I have cried at funerals. More accurately, I have cried grieving the deaths of two friends in their twenties. I shed tears at the funerals of grandparents.

I cried deeply on Sept. 11th. I have yet to watch any documentary or movie about that day.

I didn't cry or even shed tears last April when I ended a four-year relationship. Hmm?

Immense gratitude and feeling forgiven has made me tearful.

This year, I think I've cried more than I have in the last decade. What the hell?!

 

[2Peanut]

Maybe this sounds really weird, but even when I feel like crying, nothing comes out. Sometimes tears will come out but I'll never be flat out crying or sobbing because no noise can come out. It's trapped in my throat. I think maybe it comes from having to hold back my tears for so many years while being abused. I remember crying in my bedroom growing up but intentionally forcing myself to stay quiet and not make any noise because I didn't want them to hear me. Now as an adult, there have been many times when I have wanted to cry but couldn't do it because it would get stuck inside me.

 

[pandora]

Thinking more about it...I do cry now more and now understand that people NEED to express these emotions and it s healthy....I always ask my son (though, this is also a reminder because i have really had to teach him over and over proper ways to know how to deal with his emotions) i just had an aha moment..beingin the nursing field, well as a professional RN since 1994 and as a volunteer on and off for about 3 years, visited my Dad for extended periods over 4 years, "lived" in the psychiatry ward in the same hospital my Dad died in...I have seen and learned a lot of different people, their behaviours, emotions, fright, anger, sadness, grief, sorrow, hatred, death experiences, birth experiences...I met so many people old and young...My favorite was geriatric (that was where I volunteered) That me why I am so understanding........back to the reason for the post.......

I think my life has prepared me to have a child with a social disability and that I have been told I have the patience of a saint......He really is doing well considering and I am seeing concern, empathy, symapthy, typical 12 year old behaviour too....I am going to look into getting more help and give up my pride for a while...I am too exhausted. THE CRYING....gosh, i can't focus. I do cry more and have had to teach it and make emotions understood, when you don't you end up like me at 36...I have chronic gastritis, IBS, GERD...wonderful stomach ailments and bowel problems. I am thankful that my son is getting the best care and GOD gave me all the tools I need to ensure he is a well liked, caring, respected and respectful to everyone, especially woman, he needs more independence........He has no problem crying.......al least he tells me everything he soesn't need stomach problems, mine started when my Dad died......22 years ago. At least I can cry now and I feel the release, not the guilt for feeling weak and I know my son is benefiting. I used to hide it...I finally learned it was ok for him to see me. I try to make light of the situation and we kind of make it a joke...and i tell him woman sometimes act crazy...he just laughs and he will actually comment that he is happy I am not Grandma....he loves her but her behaviour is confusing to her too but for 12, he is quite insightful. Maybe there has been a reason for my life!!!! I will ensure my child will be the best he can be. I would also love it if one day we lived in the same home, in different areas or next door neighbors.....oh someday to feel safe and secure in a home i can consider mine and be so proud of....rambling I will always make him my reason.....to keep moving forward. At least I know he is ok.....he has regressed and developed more ocd symptoms, more asthma attacks, sleep even worse, routine totally screwed, more facial and throat clearing tics with constant humming or singing ( he was taking his pills without a reminder) I hope when we fnally have a place to go to....i actually really like it and can make it my home...that makes us feel safer and it will be just us again....he needs his schedule and stability back. UUUGGGHHHH....I really want to say something negative but i won't so of course my nose is burning and the tears are welling up. Time to stop rambling anyway.

 

[superpcp]

I cant cry. And it really bugs me, because it is so much of a healthy normal release, but I somehow cant do it. Some day I will bawl my eyes out, and I hope it comes soon!

 

[Cindy]

Crying is the hardest emotion for me (well, maybe second to anger) but it is so rare. If tears are ever present in therapy my therapist immediately responds with body language and intensity because it is usually a core issue.

I cried twice this week. Once for the loss I feel about a life that was or could have been. Second, total frustration of living the life that I do every minute of every day.

Both realities of now that can't be changed, not that I see now.

 

[dust]

Spirit,

Love this too :)

I'm such a cry baby - have cried every day for the past 1 1/2 years... most recently the tears have become a less painful experience and a source of great relief (a bit like dreams).

dust

 

[spiritofnow]

I am so gald that what I feel is so relevant to others'.

Thank you all so much for your responses :-)

Spirit x

 

[monkee]

I cry often now. It has not always been this way. I laugh at inappropriate things too, things that would make some people cry.

The night my father passed away my uncle told me not to cry because my mother needed me to be strong. I was 13 when that happened. I think it short circuited my ability to express emotions in a normal way... whatever normal is

 

[Roo]

There's so much in this thread that's sparking recognition in me. Needing to be silent ... the throat-lumps ... the mix of grief and rage that stews for a lifetime ... welling up over commercials and cute teddy bears and babies and new leaves in Spring while becoming numb and narcotic at the thought of crying for your own pain ... total empathy for others and none for yourself. God, it's crazy-making...

I feel like I need to have my psyche cracked open like a coconut to really cry. Often I am taken over in an instant; it's like being hit really hard on the head and I just react. It happened after the funeral visitation for my mother, when only a few close family members were present and the casket was opened. I threw out a sound, doubled over and sobbed while babbling along with my sister about how beautiful our dead mother looked. A few weeks later, I went to my now-husband (we were very new together at the time) and tucked myself into him and let howl -- the whole-body cry. I felt it building up that time.

I remember how lucid and strong I felt during that period after my mother died -- in part because I was feeling so much; the feelings were just coming and going like weather systems. I felt clear inside -- hard to put words to -- clear as in transparent and not weighed down with the usual crap.

Sometimes I just think that I'm reeeally constipated emotionally...:rofl::think:

I get such a huge laugh out of the movie Something's Gotta Give. Diane Keaton's character howls her heart out...and under the hilarity, my own heart is hammering at the bars of her cage.

I have witnessed, so many times, tears coursing down the cheeks of loved ones, and I'm ashamed to say that my first reaction is usually a thought, a sort-of question: I don't get it...how can you can cry like that...

I dunno...sometimes I just think I'm missing an ability to weep naturally. Does anyone else feel this?