Can You Pray?

[Jade-]

I used to pray all the time. I believed there was really someone out there that cared and was listening to me. But then I realized there's no one there listening to me. If there was, he wouldn't make me suffer so much.

I prayed the other night, just to see what would happen. What happened? I got in an argument with my mom, my dying brother called, my son called me from jail....I fell off the wagon, my other son had to go to court......so am I better off not praying?

Maybe I believe a little different than others. I believe death is a process, just the same as being born. It's a process we all go through. I believe we all go to the same place. I don't believe in hell. I mean, really, do you think someone will go to hell for sinning? If that's true, then we will all be in hell. Cause we all sin.

Do you really think someone will go to hell for taking the lords name in vain? or for lying? or for stealing? Gimme a break. I have such a distaste for organized religion. I spent so many years being forced to go to church. I was a sunday school teacher and got fired for calling another girl a bitch. I watched people grab their bottles of whiskey from underneath their car seats once church was over. I saw child molestors sit in church and act like they were so righteous. I used to play poker during service, have sex with the boys and deal drugs during service.

Can I pray? no, I can't.

 

[Jade-]

wow...sorry. I think I got a little carried away there.

 

[StressyJen]

Lot of stuff here, I'm catching up a bit after being away a couple weeks! I definitely sometimes pray boldly, other times whimpy, whiney, humbly, angry, and sometimes I can't do it at all! I try now to at least tell God that I want to pray but I can't and acknowledge that He knows what I need and would he please help me. The bible definitely supports the idea that many mentioned that He seems to know we would struggle with this at times and He understands. Most notably and clearly (for me anyway) in Romans 8:26-27:

"In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God's will."

 

[Tinyflame]

Dear Jadebear, no reason to apologize, God if He is out there can "take it". I am sure He would agree with what you know and see, maybe He's giving people time and more chances (sometimes) to stop acting abhorently to others.

I don't know much, and sometimes it's not all-together that consoling to me, but after a lot of sorrow and horrors and sadness, I think God has suffered with me.

One thing I do know, God-or-no God, nothing bad lasts forever.

 

[anni]

I've always, ALWAYS had a 'thing' about that same thing, Jadebear! You already said it beautifully so can't add a single word but YES!! Noone on the planet is going anywhere for breaking any of those ridiculous MAN-made rules. Control freaks, Puritans and judgemental hard asses. I just adore hearing these things spouted from religious lips, like they've had a conversation themselves with God just that day, over lunch, and he told them alllll about it. Bleah.

Hee- that was nice Junebug but see what a horrible minister's kid I really am? :) I think I just think it's an awful lot harder to get into hell than 'they' say it is.

I'm sorry you can't pray, Jadebear and Holy Heck who can blame you for not thinking anyone in particular is watching or caring, with all that going on? I sometimes feel like Junebug, where he's suffering with me, and then sometimes get tired of being patient or pleasant about anything and really, really yell at him. So far no lightening bolts but perhaps he's saving them up for my next rant. I do quite seriously hate hearing all this dreadful crap going on-unspeakable! There's not much to say by way of being helpful except I'm thinking of you, and wishing you so much more peace than what is around you now.

 

[Tessa]

People and their actions are different to a God who loves us unconditionally...sometimes it is so bad we just need to be carried in His arms..even if we are yelling at him.

I am a preachers kid too and am aware of the conflict of hearing my father preach and then come home and unleash his anger on us and of having well repected church men touch you where they shouldn't. However,this was their behaviour ..not Gods.

I think the only thing I can do is pray that God will work through me in the gentleness of my actions and touch and in the heartfelt pain of my tears so that those I try to help might feel a whisper of His love.

 

[anni]

I'm a little reactive and praying a ton myself lately, Tessa, but that gave me tears. So pretty. My goodness.

 

[BloomInWinter]

I used to have a really close, personal relationship with my higher power. Growing up, it comforted me. Saved me. Kept me going.

Then, the PTSD decompensation happened. ...and it felt like the spiritual part of my soul became ashes like every other good emotion/memory/hope. I stopped believing in...praying to...and it does feel so awful to have a hole where faith once lived.

A sponsor of mine helped me a LOT with this one.

Faith THAT (instead of faith IN)..

• I can get better
• Better times are ahead
• I still have a lot of living to do
• There are people who care about me and want to help me

Prayer AS (instead of prayer TO)...

• a means of identifying my difficulties
• a means of discovering allies, strengths, and resources
• a means of relieving the ruminating cycle
• a way forward to discovering 'actionable items'

GREAT thread!

 

[Tinyflame]

I like that very much BloomInWinter.

What are 'actionable items', what does that mean?

 

[BloomInWinter]

I like that very much BloomInWinter.

What are 'actionable items', what does that mean?

One of the problems with my PTSD is my endless ruminating instead of actually *doing something*...

I've been working on this by praying my way through using a thought process kinda like this...

"Ok...been thinking on this issue a lot...."

1. IS this a problem, or just a fantasy? (y = go to step OR 2. No = action required..distraction needed)
2. Is this problem MY problem? (y = go to step 3. OR No = action required...letting go)
3. Can I DO anything about this problem? (y = go to step 4. OR No = action required...letting go)
4. Am I WILLING to take this action? (y = go to step 5. OR No = action required...let it go already!)
5. Is this action a RISK for me or of me to others? (y = go to step 5. OR No = action required...seek council from mentor a.s.a.p., distract self until then)
6. Can I mitigate this risk? (y = take action OR No = action...seek council)
7. Take Action (y = do it! OR No = let it go already, darn it! Go do something enjoyable, or distracting )

Hope this makes sense. Mapping one's thoughts in this manner isn't easy for me. :P

 

[Tinyflame]

Yes! Thank you!

 

[Tessa]

I lost my faith and soul after PTSD and working with Ts who did not believe in God. However God is still there holding us and swirling gentle unconditional love around our numb souls.
Hugs to you all.