Relationship Can You Really Just Be Friends?

[KyGirl31]

So whatever me and my guy were starting to have went South but I do still care greatly for him, why I dunno. I want to be here for him but I want to be able to not expect anything farther than his friendship. Of course I want more but I don't think it's possible right now. Are there any supporters who are no longer with there sufferer in a relationship but have maintained a friendship? Do you find it hard caring so strongly for that person and just settling for a friendship and possibly feeling like its holding you back from moving on?

 

[Court]

This is an interesting question and I wonder the same thing myself. My T told me I need to take care of me and my kids and focus on co parenting rather than friendship but my situation is a lil different.

I was bothered thinking after 16 years why couldn't we have a friendship but honestly as long as he isn't healthy it is only a toxic situation. I need to heal and then when I am in a good place I can reevaluate. Otherwise I truly believe I will get roped back in to the madness.

Court

 

[nursenurse]

I'm generally a little leery of the friendship stuff in any situation. More times than not, one of the parties has or develops stronger feelings for the other more than the respective partner has for them. And you admit you would like more, so you are already at a disadvantage. Personally I see distancing as a good thing. Breakups are never easy, and I think you deserve the chance to go it on your own for a bit. You might even realize that you don't want him as a friend.

 

[Sweetpea76]

It does seem like it would be making it hard on yourself and your ability to move on. Could you every really be happy just being a friend, or would you just be waiting on him to come around?

 

[Snowangel1225]

I think it depends on the circumstances and the people involved. I have remained friends with exes and done ok with that. Boundaries are firmly in place and we both know that an intimate relationship is out of the question, but we can be friends. For me, I cannot walk away from someone that I care deeply about. In addition, while we were in a relationship, they were my best friend and confidante. I find it easy to talk with them about things because they know the real me. Sure, sometimes I look at them and wish things would have worked out, but I know they didn't and probably for good reasons. Some people make better friends than partners. That being said, if the relationship was toxic and damaging to one or both parties, I end it. Period. Done. No communication. There is no sense in continuing to hurt each other in the name of 'being friends'.