Can You Talk About Your Trauma?

[Big Shirley]

I would totally have to go with drawing or writing. I was a sexually abused child for 15 years and I found and still find it hard and embarrassing to talk about some things so I just write it to my therapist or draw a picture for her. You can also print pictures out online and make a collage...hope this helps, hang in there.

 

[Auburngirl]

Hi there,

No I basically don't talk about my trauma. I've tried, I've addressed bits and pieces of it in therapy (bits and pieces is simply the way it comes to me). For a long time I felt I "owed" people in my life the whole story. I thought it might be like on tv where I'd finally tell the whole story, sob uncontrollably and then feel better. I have a dissociative disorder and for me talking about it - provokes dissociative episodes and makes me worse, not better. I'm not ignoring the problem, but I have realised that I may never feel comfortable talking about it, and maybe that's okay, and maybe I don't have to. When necessary I'm okay giving the generic topic area of the trauma (ie sexual assault - though even that I only due in very limited circumstances), but not in re-telling, and for me re-living what happened.

As one of my friends said - you don't owe anybody that, your life is not for their entertainment or curiosity.

 

[shadow-light]

I find that speaking in the third person can make it a little easier, adds some distance I think. But generally, no...I can't speak about it, I can hint, and offer vauge descriptions, but not speak. I can, however, write it down. I have no idea why writting is easier than speaking, but it is.

 

[Die Hard The Hunter]

I find that speaking in the third person can make it a little easier, adds some distance I think. But generally, no...I can't speak about it, I can hint, and offer vauge descriptions, but not speak. I can, however, write it down. I have no idea why writting is easier than speaking, but it is.

I always have an easier time writing something than speaking it. Maybe it's because I'm used to writing fiction; most of what I write is a lie, so I'm not accountable for it.

It seems like it would be the opposite, that writing something makes it more real. But it seems that people who are in shock or dissociative states have an easier time writing and tend to have a harder time speaking.

 

[tunafish]

Sorry for reviving this old thread but besides obvious reasons such as pain, fear and triggers for not being confortable to talk about one's own trauma, I find it interesting that nobody mentioned the incomfort it can create among others that may not want or may not be ready to hear about such things.

In my experience so far, I'm ready to talk about it but have gotten either dismissals and generalizations or again I see that it makes people very uncomfortable and they quickly change the subject. Either way, it is making them uncomfortable. And that's making me uncomfortable in return. I've stopped trying to tell them about it.

 

[Mina]

Hi, Tunafish :smile: Just wanted to let you know that it's totally acceptable - even encouraged - to resurrect old threads!

 

[a3a2]

The Racha summed up everything for me. I am constantly wondering if I am overdramatizing this stuff and wondering if I am just attention seeking.

 

[ekati]

Same here...why is that though? Why we think that we overdramatise things, overreact, and exaggerate and all these??? And why do we feel guilty?

 

[stephenrh]

I have found I have no problem talking about what caused my PTSD. When I do talk about it whether it's first person, third person or writing it down I feel like I might as well be telling one of my mates about the last film I watched.

Though I'm not sure my psychiatrist would describe this as not having a problem talking about it.

 

[Robin]

Do others feel guilty for wanting to talk about their trauma? For my entire life I never allowed myself to want to talk about it. I felt that I caused it and was to blame, and therefore I had no right to want to talk about it now. The voice in my head kept saying "Who are you to want to discuss what happened? It didn't affect you, so just leave it in the past. How dare you feel sorry for yourself. You should be grateful for everything you have in your life, and not dwell on the past".

I could have wrote this statement. I can write about it (well alot of it anyway), but never even vocalize it. In T, I can write things, but talking is out of the question.

Sometimes, my mind hits a total blank, but most of the time the words and the vivid memories are right there and repeat themselves, over and over again. Pleading me to talk. Don't know, just can't seem to do it.
:crazy:

 

[reallydown]

I have trouble talking about my trauma too. Sometimes I even have trouble writing about it...especially going into details. Generally, if I do end up mentioning it...The war and related events are referred to as the mess, or the sh*t that went on/happened and the place is "over there"...And yes, a s others have mentioned, sometimes (still) it feels like I have no right to complain. I've also had times when I wanted to say everything to the various counsellors etc but I just couldn't when it came down to it. So....I'd end up saying virtually nothing the whole session.

 

[Healing Survivor]

Yes!

I think about the trauma all the time but when it comes time to actually talk about it, I clam up. I think the words in my head but can't bring myself to say them out loud. And if I DO...I dissociate big time.

Yes, there is guilt. I often feel like people won't believe me and maybe I just made it all up. I feel like if I tell people and they feel bad, then it's my fault. Specifically my parents--I cannot tell them the details of what happened. I just can't. I feel like their pain would be caused by me directly, even though intellectually I understand that's not true.

Oddly enough, it's kind of nice to know others feel this way too. It's validating in a way. So thanks for your posts!