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Cannot Talk About My Trauma In Therapy

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Hi Broken soul.
Mindfulness can be difficult for us to learn, but the work does pay. Spartan life coach, did a video about the difficulties a year or so ago.

Re the weight, some people who have difficulty with being on the receiving end of sexual interest, and i guess social interest too, seem to inadvertently find that weight gain saves them from the discomfort of advances.

As for the choice between self harm and food. I 'm not looking for a reply, but you might like to explore whether those are the only two options available, or whether you can start to consciouly add new coping strategies to your repertoire.

:hug:if you'll accept them.
 
So we tried a different approach tonight, she got me to sit back in the chair which instantly stressed me out because I always sit upright with my cardigan around me, legs together & arms across my stomach. So I immediately felt exposed to which I wrapped my arms around my stomach & tensed right up. I thought to myself Jesus this is not a stretch, you're just sitting back in a flipping chair for crying out loud, why is this so hard? She got me to take some deep breaths & then asked where the part of me that fears falling apart from talking sits in my body. To me it was kind of a weird question but I went with my stomach, it was the most tensed part of my body at the time. Not exactly sure what happened after that but we sat there & she asked what I was seeing or feeling, it took around 10 mins for me to sort myself out at which point I couldn't speak so wrote "fear of failure" then I had a mind blank & took another 10 minutes to remember what memory had come up from that & I thought what a seriously rubbish memory to come up but cause such a reaction. She said not to belittle it - (it was a memory from when I was around 10 to do with the stress of a maths test) and it must have caused me a great deal of stress to have come to mind & could be part of why I am so critical of myself now. Well that was in total about 35 mins of the session & the last 15 were just me basically being a mute and saying I had wasted the session. I feel so frustrated. I know I have to be patient but it is so hard to strike a balance between saying enough in the sessions and being guarded enough to stay in control
 
I had my fourth session with a psychotherapist yesterday and I just shut down. The first few have b...

My daughter (18) has this same problem. She only feels more anxious with someone staring at her wanting her to talk. From her journey, we've learned a few things and I have two suggestions you might want to consider. First, make sure your therapist specializes in trauma or find one who does. We are going to switch my daughter's. Second, consider a group. She likes talking to others who have been through similar experiences and we're interviewing two therapists who do process / trauma groups (of adolescent girls in her case) but who also specialize in trauma, because there is a specific protocol for trauma therapy or it can be re-traumatizing to talk about. Good luck.
 
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