Can't Keep Blinds Open At Night...

[joeylittle]

Maybe it's also urban vs. rural? I grew up in the suburban area of a major city, my ex grew up in rural midwest. When we were living in a quiet town in North Carolina for awhile, he wouldn't lock the front door unless we were going away overnight. To be honest, it didn't have a great lock - it was just one of those push-buttons in the handle. But he was incredibly comfortable with the no-locking thing, also the blinds all open thing.

I leave my blinds open when I'm living on a floor higher than any floors around me; otherwise, when my inside lights are on, the blinds (or curtains) are closed.

 

[Fadeaway]

@joeylittle I am not sure, because it is the opposite of my husband and I. He grew up in metropolitan area. I grew up in extreme rural. As in, if the nearest gas station is less than an hour away, you are in the city, rural. If you can walk to the nearest neighbors in under a day your are in the city, rural.

 

[Taylor30313]

I feel like youre all missing my point. It does bother me all the time but mostly at night. And I guess youre right on the cultural thing because a lot of other condos leave their blinds open aroud here. And I know it's not just something that bothers people with PTSD. But it doesn't just make me simply "uncomfortable" it makes me panicky and sweaty and my heart races.

 

[Ladyghosthunter]

Sweetheart, I can't keep the blinds open at night much less during the day. I have weapons and the neighborhood isn't the best to live in however it's all we can afford right now.

You're not alone...

 

[Kintsugi]

I don't think I have missed the point, as I completely understand your panicked reaction. Is what you're looking for an answer to this [emphasis added in bold]?

If you can understand, I like to think I have my PTSD and anxiety under control most of the time. So why can't I calm myself down??

I'm sure we could offer some calming/grounding strategies. As for why you feel this way, I can't say. I can say that these are one of those stressors that, to me, is such an easy fix (closing the blinds), I wouldn't kill myself over the "why can't I," but rather focus on "how can I." :)

 

[ihateusernames]

I do think you're getting your point across @Taylor30313 . I know that feeling. I am paranoid about passersby, in general, but being near a dark window that I can't see out puts me in panic mode. It's not major, but it's there. It's been there at least since I was a teenager. (Edit to say: thinking about it now, I can pinpoint much earlier incidents) When I was 15 I actually saw something looking in on me. I was living at my grandma's house and she didn't have blinds on the bedroom windows!! Ugh! I hated it. I'm positive what I saw wasn't real, the house is far from the road and was pretty remote at that time, and the window is too high for any kind of animal or person to have been where I saw it, but my fear of the windows caused me to imagine it. Who knows why it would have been severe enough to cause that sort of reaction in either of us.

I almost want to say that it's just an exaggeration of a normal human reaction being amplified by either being hyper aware or general anxiety. Fear of the dark and the unknown is a survival mechanism ingrained in all of us.

And I agree with Simply Simon. I'd just keep the blinds closed. If you find yourself in a situation where you can't control that then you might try to keep your distance from the actual windows and try to find something else to focus on, even if that's just your own breath and presence. This is probably a maladaptive behavior on my part, so take it or leave it, but the thing I tend to do, not necessarily in this situation, but others, is to count. I count objects, I count passing time, I stare at clocks, etc.

 

[Taylor30313]

@Simply Simon Idk, maybe I just took everyone's comments wrong. I just felt really judged. Like everyone was focusing on their opinions on whether having your blinds, curtains, shutters open is weird in their area or not. I guess my real point is this: I've come along way in just three years. Three years ago I was scared of everything and everyone, I was suicidal, and a big mess really. But at this point I would consider myself really strong (most of the time) and I'm not affected by much. I guess the whole windows open thing has been a great big reminder that I might not be as "untouchable" as I like to think I am. So thank you to those who have helped me by either telling me their experiences and telling me how they take it and deal with it.

 

[WildMermaid]

@Taylor30313 those of us with a similar issue just tried to share our own fears and the methods we use to cope with it, I don't think anyone judged you though. :)