Can't Remember Not Being Anxious

[bearmom]

My Dr asked me yesterday how long I have had anxiety. I have no clue when it started. I know I was diagnosed with it at a very young age. Some of my first memories are of throwing up every morning before school. If there was something I can find to worry about I do. It has never truely been treated in a long term sense until now. I think I have found ways to function in my own way. Mostly through denial and lots of jokes. But ut isn't enough anymore. Paired with ptsd, my husbands recent struggles and his inability to be the stable voice of reason for me, I need more. I spoke very briefly with my therapist about these feelings, as we are just getting to know eachother.
My Dr reccomeded Prozac. Anyone have any experience with hiw that was for anxiety and panic attacks? Its just a new thing to worry about. Especially because she said it takes a long time to get in your system. So I have plenty of time to worry that it won't work, or that paired with my hypothyroidism I may lose more hair.

 

[Klo]

Prozac didn't help me, but I was only on it for 5 weeks before quitting it due to side effects. However, some people can report that Prozac worked great for them. So I would say don't let other people's experiences influence your expectations, because it may or may not help you. That is something that sucks about meds in general, for everyone. Having to try them for X weeks or months before finding out if you need to try a new one, then having to try the new one for X weeks or months, while also coming off the last one. It can be a truly exhausting process trying to find meds that work for you. So just try to have realistic expectations, would be my advice; it's going to be a journey, and when you find what works for you, you will have surely earned it, even if it just ends up being the right dosage of the first med you try.

 

[Tinyflame]

I've thought about this a lot, because I can recall it back to about age 5. And pre-surgery Sodium Penethol (sp-?) worked great. And they say some people are wired this way.

But I go back, & recall much seems to be what is called "Rejection-Sensitive- Dysphoria" (~or something similar, I can't remember), & realities, plus neglect (rational). Also post-traumas. It's so hard to un-entangle it. Plus poor breathing, etc. The ptsd itself? (hypervigilance, adrenaline etc?)

 

[Joie]

My anxiety started before I was five and I know the reasons why. However, in the last five years I've come to realize that anxiety had become a habitual and addictive tool employed to keep me safe. I went with anxiety as a way to scan for danger in the hope that I could fend it off OR to try to reach perfection so I would be liked and loved. Through meditation I've come to really feel the fear and notice the dissociative patterns of habitual anxiety. By doing so I've been able to see what I'm trying to distract myself from through damaging rumination. Usually its hurt and loss and untrue beliefs that I'm not good enough or lovable enough. I use the RAIN technique pretty successfully now (it's taken the five years to get to this early stage): Recognise the bodily sensations during anxiety; Allow the sensations rather than distracting through rumination; Investigate what's beneath the feelings and body sensations (often grief, hurt or indoctrinated negative beliefs that aren't true); and finally Nourishing...soothing myself with kindness, holding a hand against my heart, telling myself I can allow rather than abandon the feelings which are trying to tell me something that may have not been allowed expression as a child. The biggest thing I've learned and that's helped my knee jerk anxiety is that: if I don't listen to what my bodily and heart feelings are telling me as they arise, anxiety is the signal I am abandoning myself in the same ways adults did when I was a child. I am increasingly letting go of resistance and the anxiety is far less frequent. It's also easier to catch earlier...let it go and listen to what's underneath that wants my attention and care. I hope this helps others. You can listen to dharma talks on RAIN and anxiety care etc. through various online websites. I found them by googling! Best, J

 

[Tinyflame]

Oh wow @Joie , I think that is me. :wideeyed: I don't know how to possibly begin with all that, if it is so.

Thank you. :hug:

Hugs to you & @bearmom & all.:hug:

 

[Joie]

Oh wow @Joie , I think that is me. :wideeyed: I don't know how to possibly begin with...

I found beginning with an eight week mindfulness meditation course along with listening to Dharma talks but the discipline isn't easy, lots of overwhelming emotions arise that have been ignored through the addiction of anxiety...and facing that through meditation takes commitment....one learns its a lifelong one...good luck! xx