Can't Study

[Matilda]

I have a test tomorrow that I really need to continue studying for and I've been desperately trying for the past 4 or 5 hours, but nothing is registering in my brain. I don't really know if I'm dissociating (I don't really understand what a dissociative episode feels like) but this is the time last year when everything went downhill and I'm struggling. My sleep pattern is all messed up too. Yesterday I slept until 10, stayed awake for two hours, went back to sleep, woke up at 3, studied for an hour and went back to sleep until 9 where I woke up and forced myself to finish homework. Today's been the same in terms of being exhasuted for no real reason, but I've tried to force myself awake through coffee. I don't think i'll be able to pass this test tomorrow and i'm just so frustrated with myself. I'm so frustrated with my body and my brain right now.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

Are you registered w disability services? Instructors are more flexible if you are. I got an extension on my test because of a severe episode.

 

[Matilda]

No, I'm not. I always thought that diabilitiy services were for people with physical impairments. I should look into it, but even then why would they believe me. I look fine and everyone has setbacks

 

[joeylittle]

why would they believe me. I look fine and everyone has setbacks

Doesn't matter what you look like. Their job is to give you reasonable accommodation, not a free ride - and they don't get to decide if your diagnosis is valid. It's absolutely worth it.

For the test: is it essay or information-based? And is it a midterm-type review test?

You might be at a point where you need to let you body/brain rest a bit. But if not, the kind of test you are prepping for will slightly shift how to study for it. If you are needing to do a lot of reading right now, write notes as you go that summarize the paragraph or page or chapter you just read. Making a summary is generally more effective than just writing short facts. If it's lots of info you need to know (like the periodic table or something), you could do flashcards. Anything that makes the studying more concrete - tangible - will help the study process.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

Joey is right. As long as you have a disability covered under ADA, you qualify. Most people who use the disability services at my school don't have physical impairments. Those that do are deaf (we have a large deaf population).

All you need is a doctor (not a therapist) to sign off on the disability to verify you have indeed been diagnosed with PTSD, and to write why you need certain accommodations. The school will have a list of all the accommodations that are available so no need to think of them off the top of your head. I get to take my exams in the testing center, with time and a half. I take my quizzes last so I don't feel rushed (they are practicals).

Its not about looking fine and its not about saying that everyone has setbacks. Would you say the same to someone who is deaf? Someone who has a hard time concentrating due to ADHD?

 

[zeckster81]

I utilized the disability services because I was dyslexic and adhd. Nothing physical.

 

[Matilda]

Thankfully I was able to put myself together this morning and I think I may have actually achieved an A on the test thanks to previous study sessions. I'll definately look into the disability services because although I haven't had an episode at college yet, I may in the future.
After analyzing what happened yesterday, I think i've tracked down my trigger. There's this guy who's in his late 20s, but is mentally a kid (he is disabled) and consider me a friend. I've always been nice to him and I'm really good friends with the adults who are supporting him at their house for the past 6 years. In January (i'll call him Thomas) invited me to his birthday party, but I had to work so I explained to him that I wouldn't be able to go. I've been meaning to buy him a present or something, but I'm always either too busy or I forget. Well Thomas has basically been harassing me every Sunday since January for his present and keeps trying to get my phone number. I feel bad for him, but it's getting out of hand so I tried my best to avoid him yesterday. The actual act of avoiding him and being scared that he would see me reminded me so much of my situation with my father that I felt my heart would jump out of my chest. That had to be the trigger.
I think I'll need to go buy him a watch or something this week and then speak to his male guardian (who I consider a second dad to me) because the harassing and trying to obtain my phone number really needs to stop.,

 

[WildMermaid]

@Matilda congrats on the test! :) It sounds like you've identified the trigger (for lack of a better word) and have a good plan in place to stop the source of the anxiety. Bravo :)

 

[LifeCutShort]

I think your studying problem may be due to not being in the present moment. With my hell, 99% of the present belongs to the trauma and depression, and only the remaining 1% is available to concentrate. I have concentration problems from my PTSD and I can relate to your statement: "but nothing is registering in my brain". Your brain is not available 100% to carry out the task at hand. I am always thinking about my trauma and depression, so how can I "squeeze in" other stuff?