Money's really tight this year so other than a handful of cards that are going out in the next few days (yeah...) the only present I got was for my friend B.F. -- A set of two pans, two brownie mixes, and cooking spray so a) when he asks me to come make him brownies I can just head over without getting all my stuff ready, b) if he needs or wants to he can ask someone else to come over to bake for him, and c) an offer to teach him to bake his own (he says every attempt ends in disaster), which he turned down. Honestly, couldn't think of a damn thing to get him besides this. The sad part is I don't think he was terribly thrilled with it, but oh well. :/
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Christmas Gifts
- Post starter Lady of Longbourn
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Phoenix_Rising
Platinum Member
I think maybe it's the lack of Christmas STRESS, LOL. After a week trekking around on the bus and in the mall and going from one side of the city to the other in search of the items on the "gift list", I am feeling absolutely dead tired and in horrible pain--so tired I can barely walk down the hall (and I am 34, though it sure feels more like 79 today--in fact I'd guess there were 79 year olds who feel better than I do). Not to mention the financial stress, going along with. Two rules seem to apply to Christmas: 1) It always takes longer than you think it will take and 2) It also costs more than you think it will cost.
So if it can make me feel like the walking dead, I am sure the opposite must be true as well LOL.
Good for you for simplifying your Christmas! :)
The Albatross
VIP Member
Hmmm...
I got my friend's mother a CZ dinner ring, she opened it today and loves it even though she can't exactly remember where she got it from.
I got my mother a sea critter drop chain necklace.
I am giving my "honorable Chinese Lady" accupressure Lady, two donations in her name. One for her churches troubled/disadvantaged youth program and also for surgeries for children in Taiwan with cleft pallette (sp?). She wanted to make the donations and was hard pressed to do so. (both are by her request)
We are giving my mother in law a gift card to her favorite restaurant.
Because of my surgery and car expenses and then my husband's car expenses, we are tabling a Christmas gift for Valentines Day by mutual agreement. I'm okay with that, and so is he.
My brother and brother in law are out of the picture... so that's it for us.
I got my friend's mother a CZ dinner ring, she opened it today and loves it even though she can't exactly remember where she got it from.
I got my mother a sea critter drop chain necklace.
I am giving my "honorable Chinese Lady" accupressure Lady, two donations in her name. One for her churches troubled/disadvantaged youth program and also for surgeries for children in Taiwan with cleft pallette (sp?). She wanted to make the donations and was hard pressed to do so. (both are by her request)
We are giving my mother in law a gift card to her favorite restaurant.
Because of my surgery and car expenses and then my husband's car expenses, we are tabling a Christmas gift for Valentines Day by mutual agreement. I'm okay with that, and so is he.
My brother and brother in law are out of the picture... so that's it for us.
I've had a really difficult time with gift buying this year. I've spent some time trying to think through why it has been so upsetting.
Last year, I truly did not have money to buy Christmas presents. I was very fortunate that my parents stepped up to the plate for me and purchased presents for my young daughter. They were really great about it...asked me what I wanted to give her, what I wanted Santa to give her and were very careful to purchase exactly what I asked for. They brought it to me so that I could see it, wrap it, and put it under the tree myself. I felt really low because I wasn't able to provide a Christmas for my daughter, but very grateful to my parents for helping out. (My parents have a lot of issues and our relationship is a mess for many reasons, but I've never accused them of not being financially generous with us.)
Fast forward to this year...I'm in a better financial situation. You would think Christmas would be easier on me this year, but it hasn't. First, there seem to be fewer items (and less expensive items) on my daughter's wish list this year. Now, one would think that is a good thing. Right? But it has upset me tremendously. The only thing I can figure out is that I feel like I need to make up for last year's Christmas and she isn't giving me much to work with. There really isn't anything to make up to her...she was none the wiser about last year's Christmas. But I think to myself, I need to feel like I've made up for my shortcomings last year.
Typically at Christmas there is one "large" item (something a bit more expensive, ie camera, DS, etc) that I get my daughter and then the rest of her items are less expensive. She has not asked for anything particularly expensive this year. Again, I know this should be a good thing but it has left me very conflicted. There is a rather expensive item that I know she really likes but didn't put on her Christmas list (I think because I've told her no and that it's too expensive so many times in the past, she has just quit asking). I have debated back and forth on whether or not to just surprise her with this gift (Xbox 360 with Kinect). My parents knew I had been debating back and forth and a couple of weeks ago called to tell me about a store that was having a REALLY good sale on it. Being a single mom, I didn't have the ability to run out to the store right away without my daughter with me and we were afraid they would sell out before I had the opportunity. So my parents went to buy it on the premise that I would pay them back. After thinking about it for about a week, I decided I would rather not put out that much money on one gift. I'd already bought quite a lot of smaller gifts for my daughter and there were still a few more smaller gifts that I knew she really wanted and I'd rather spend my money on that. I told them I had the money, but it would make things financially tight for me and I'd rather continue on the path I was already on and just get lots of smaller things from her list instead of skipping something from her list to be able to purchase something she hadn't asked for (even if I was pretty sure she'd love it). When my parents came to visit last weekend, they brought the Xbox and a couple of additional games they had purchased. My mom said my dad refused to return the Xbox to the store. I didn't need to pay them back for it. They told me to make the Xbox from me and make the games from Santa.
It's a kind and generous thing to do in their mind. But it makes me feel like yet again I've not been able to provide for my daughter's Christmas because I didn't do it on my own.
Last year, I truly did not have money to buy Christmas presents. I was very fortunate that my parents stepped up to the plate for me and purchased presents for my young daughter. They were really great about it...asked me what I wanted to give her, what I wanted Santa to give her and were very careful to purchase exactly what I asked for. They brought it to me so that I could see it, wrap it, and put it under the tree myself. I felt really low because I wasn't able to provide a Christmas for my daughter, but very grateful to my parents for helping out. (My parents have a lot of issues and our relationship is a mess for many reasons, but I've never accused them of not being financially generous with us.)
Fast forward to this year...I'm in a better financial situation. You would think Christmas would be easier on me this year, but it hasn't. First, there seem to be fewer items (and less expensive items) on my daughter's wish list this year. Now, one would think that is a good thing. Right? But it has upset me tremendously. The only thing I can figure out is that I feel like I need to make up for last year's Christmas and she isn't giving me much to work with. There really isn't anything to make up to her...she was none the wiser about last year's Christmas. But I think to myself, I need to feel like I've made up for my shortcomings last year.
Typically at Christmas there is one "large" item (something a bit more expensive, ie camera, DS, etc) that I get my daughter and then the rest of her items are less expensive. She has not asked for anything particularly expensive this year. Again, I know this should be a good thing but it has left me very conflicted. There is a rather expensive item that I know she really likes but didn't put on her Christmas list (I think because I've told her no and that it's too expensive so many times in the past, she has just quit asking). I have debated back and forth on whether or not to just surprise her with this gift (Xbox 360 with Kinect). My parents knew I had been debating back and forth and a couple of weeks ago called to tell me about a store that was having a REALLY good sale on it. Being a single mom, I didn't have the ability to run out to the store right away without my daughter with me and we were afraid they would sell out before I had the opportunity. So my parents went to buy it on the premise that I would pay them back. After thinking about it for about a week, I decided I would rather not put out that much money on one gift. I'd already bought quite a lot of smaller gifts for my daughter and there were still a few more smaller gifts that I knew she really wanted and I'd rather spend my money on that. I told them I had the money, but it would make things financially tight for me and I'd rather continue on the path I was already on and just get lots of smaller things from her list instead of skipping something from her list to be able to purchase something she hadn't asked for (even if I was pretty sure she'd love it). When my parents came to visit last weekend, they brought the Xbox and a couple of additional games they had purchased. My mom said my dad refused to return the Xbox to the store. I didn't need to pay them back for it. They told me to make the Xbox from me and make the games from Santa.
It's a kind and generous thing to do in their mind. But it makes me feel like yet again I've not been able to provide for my daughter's Christmas because I didn't do it on my own.
- Post starter
- #17
Lady of Longbourn
VIP Member
I know about that tight money problems. It's effecting the husband and me too. We spent about $250 on gift's this year. More then we usually would, but it effected our ability to go on vacation this winter. ( we were going to phoenix.) With my hospital bills, and car repairs, it was to close to our limit. And the close the vacation got the more we weren't sure we wanted to go. It was just added stress, and more stress because we would have not really been able to afford it.
It came down to vacation or paying the bills and giving gifts. Paying the bills we would still be alright and have money left over... So we did that, and honestly felt so much better about it. And safer...
I am still terribly excited about the gift I got my mother, I think she's really going to love it and its been years since I have been able to get her anything, much less something she would really love and treasure.
We are going to met on Skype and all video chat with eachother. That's a gift in it self.
Oh I also got my grandparents gifts. Husband is very fond of them. They love pictures, and hate when people send them pictures over the internet. So we got the a digital photo frame, that is really easy to use. Went we get more pictures, we will send them a SD card for it and we only a few buttons to press they are uploaded to the digital photo.
:)
It came down to vacation or paying the bills and giving gifts. Paying the bills we would still be alright and have money left over... So we did that, and honestly felt so much better about it. And safer...
I am still terribly excited about the gift I got my mother, I think she's really going to love it and its been years since I have been able to get her anything, much less something she would really love and treasure.
We are going to met on Skype and all video chat with eachother. That's a gift in it self.
Oh I also got my grandparents gifts. Husband is very fond of them. They love pictures, and hate when people send them pictures over the internet. So we got the a digital photo frame, that is really easy to use. Went we get more pictures, we will send them a SD card for it and we only a few buttons to press they are uploaded to the digital photo.
:)
Phoenix_Rising
Platinum Member
Quoting Full Post.
I am a single mom, too catjudo. My parents also always buy (and have in the past split the cost of larger or more expensive items) my daughter presents. I can provide her with what she wants too, always have. But they do as well. One year she desperately wanted a Wii, my parents bought it for her.
It really was not an issue for anyone--I bought her other things she was equally thrilled with. It does not have to be "them helping you out". If you can, try to think of it as what it is "it is our grandchild and we want her to be happy and we love her." If you can grab all the stuff on her list, awesome--she is going to have an AMAZING Christmas. She will not even think of it that way, she'll be thrilled senseless that she got an Xbox Kinect and that mom got her everything on her list. She will go back to school exclaiming "Guess what I got for Christmas?!?!?" to her friends. Think of it is something YOU are doing for HER. And something her grandparents are doing for HER. It doesn't have to mean you are an inadequate parent or you are not providing for her. There is no law that says you have to be the only person buying her presents (even big ones)--1 year, my daughter got an Ipod from her friends at her birthday party. We just asked people nicely, this is something she really wants this year, could you please send a monetary gift instead of a wrapped one. My younger brother got a game boy way back when the same way.
And I have an Xbox Kinect. I am not a person into video games. I LOVE my Xbox Kinect!!!!! It is an incredible workout, awesome for kids and something an adult will enjoy too, you could play together if you have space and it is a great bonding activity as well as incredibly healthy. You can get an amazing workout on Kinect and it is so much fun. I cannot say enough good things about this system.
Really, if your daughter was going to get a "big" present, this is a totally worthwhile one to have.
I'm a firm believer in giving kids the best Christmas possible--because I remember what it was like, and they have so precious few years to really experience the *magic* of Christmas. The excitement, the wonder, the anticipation. Waking up in the middle of the night they are so excited. (Of course there are other equally important aspects to Christmas too LOL but we are discussing gifts). But really, there is only so many years before that thrill is gone. You are happy, grateful, appreciative as you get older. But you never get that sense of anything is possible and everything is exciting again.
There are lots of people who aren't single parents (who at least have one other parent to help them out) who get gifts from grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, etc. My brother and I did. And I know 2 two parent families who are a couple of my daughter's close friends, they live right next door or across the street from the grandparents, and they get helped out all the time.
It isn't as unusual as you might think, I guess is what I am trying to say. And whether it be money or time, (or both) it ultimately means the same thing--they love their grandchild and want them to be happy, and they want to contribute in some way.
<It is not necessary to quote the full post you are replying to. Thanks Amethist>
It really was not an issue for anyone--I bought her other things she was equally thrilled with. It does not have to be "them helping you out". If you can, try to think of it as what it is "it is our grandchild and we want her to be happy and we love her." If you can grab all the stuff on her list, awesome--she is going to have an AMAZING Christmas. She will not even think of it that way, she'll be thrilled senseless that she got an Xbox Kinect and that mom got her everything on her list. She will go back to school exclaiming "Guess what I got for Christmas?!?!?" to her friends. Think of it is something YOU are doing for HER. And something her grandparents are doing for HER. It doesn't have to mean you are an inadequate parent or you are not providing for her. There is no law that says you have to be the only person buying her presents (even big ones)--1 year, my daughter got an Ipod from her friends at her birthday party. We just asked people nicely, this is something she really wants this year, could you please send a monetary gift instead of a wrapped one. My younger brother got a game boy way back when the same way.
And I have an Xbox Kinect. I am not a person into video games. I LOVE my Xbox Kinect!!!!! It is an incredible workout, awesome for kids and something an adult will enjoy too, you could play together if you have space and it is a great bonding activity as well as incredibly healthy. You can get an amazing workout on Kinect and it is so much fun. I cannot say enough good things about this system.
Really, if your daughter was going to get a "big" present, this is a totally worthwhile one to have.
I'm a firm believer in giving kids the best Christmas possible--because I remember what it was like, and they have so precious few years to really experience the *magic* of Christmas. The excitement, the wonder, the anticipation. Waking up in the middle of the night they are so excited. (Of course there are other equally important aspects to Christmas too LOL but we are discussing gifts). But really, there is only so many years before that thrill is gone. You are happy, grateful, appreciative as you get older. But you never get that sense of anything is possible and everything is exciting again.
There are lots of people who aren't single parents (who at least have one other parent to help them out) who get gifts from grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, etc. My brother and I did. And I know 2 two parent families who are a couple of my daughter's close friends, they live right next door or across the street from the grandparents, and they get helped out all the time.
It isn't as unusual as you might think, I guess is what I am trying to say. And whether it be money or time, (or both) it ultimately means the same thing--they love their grandchild and want them to be happy, and they want to contribute in some way.
<It is not necessary to quote the full post you are replying to. Thanks Amethist>
Phoenix_Rising
Platinum Member
I have to say that reading people's posts above has made me grateful. People who say they do not have enough money for Christmas due to a surgery or medical bills. Being from Canada, we do not even think about that here. It is horrifying to hear that people actually have to PAY to get a surgery done. It seems absolutely crazy. In fact in summer there are these funny commercials all the time on the radio about getting medical insurance when travelling in case you break something, or need a surgery, so you don't end up with unbelievable bills for medical expenses that you DIDN'T put in the holiday budget.
So, today I am grateful for a great medical system that covers hospital visits, surgery, doctor and specialist visits, xrays, ultrasounds, CAT scans, MRIs, medical testing etc., and, for some, (like myself very fortunately) even full prescription coverage. And those who don't, at least still have Fair Pharmacare to help, which everyone gets.
Very grateful.
So, today I am grateful for a great medical system that covers hospital visits, surgery, doctor and specialist visits, xrays, ultrasounds, CAT scans, MRIs, medical testing etc., and, for some, (like myself very fortunately) even full prescription coverage. And those who don't, at least still have Fair Pharmacare to help, which everyone gets.
Very grateful.
Trust me, she gets presents from lots of people. I guess I just feel like it's my job to be "Santa" and I should be the one buying those gifts (not my parents). And I definitely feel like if she's going to think a present is from me, it shouldn't be my parents buying it. But they generously purchase gifts that they'll get no recognition for. In addition to the gifts they purchase for either me or Santa to give my daughter, they are still purchasing their own gifts to give her. (And of course she gets presents from her dad and his parents.)
I know how awesome it is and how much she'll love it. We've had a Wii for over four years. When Kinect first came out my daughter heard all the marketing and hype and asked for one. I told her she didn't need it because she had a Wii. I don't think either of us really saw one in use, in person, until earlier this year. When playing at a friend's house she had the opportunity to play and it renewed her interest and begging. She has played with them a few times and I must say I was very impressed...but at the time still was not in a position to afford it. That's why I was considering the purchase for Christmas. And purchasing the system would not have been an issue, if I hadn't already purchased so much other stuff for her. And, like I said, I technically could purchase the Kinect but after everything else that I've purchased, it would put me in a tight financial situation and I just don't want to do that.
I couldn't agree more. I guess I'm just beating myself up because I'm not the one providing it for her. I know you're right, that I should not worry about it and be glad that she's going to have such an awesome Christmas. But still I find myself crying over it.
I think maybe it comes back to to the fact that I hate accepting financial help (of any kind) from my parents. My dad was by abuser growing up. My mom stood by and allowed it to happen, made excuses for him and is still married to him. Throughout my childhood, they thought they could make things better by buying me things. I think, maybe, when they purchase gifts for me/Santa to give to my daughter, it feels like I'm still allowing them to buy me off and use money to assure that they'll continue to see me and my daughter. That's not what it is...for reasons that are to complicated to go into here, I would still have a relationship with my parents even if they didn't buy us things or help me out financially. But I'm not sure they realize that and I think it bothers me.
amethist
VIP Member
Catjudo, you give your daughter a gift no Santa could ever give her. You give her love and care and are there for her at all times of night and day. Even when you are not well yourself, you are still thinking about your daughter, always.
I know how much you love your daughter, and that is a gift money just cannot buy.
Hugs to you,
I know how much you love your daughter, and that is a gift money just cannot buy.
Hugs to you,
The Albatross
VIP Member
I forgot that I ordered a drug free book for osteoporosis/osteopenia for myself for "Christmas".
Meadowsweet
Diamond Member
I've been getting gifts since September, so I can't remember half of them. Then two gifts I managed to buy twice :rolleyes: Thanfully, I tend to go halves with my sisters to get the rest of the family presents, so I just hand over cash. :)
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