Circling The Drain Again

[Bill Dickerson]

I'm so tired. I'm not even trying any more. I just lay in bed.

My Mom will knock on the door and say "in the bed again".

I really want to jump up and yell why in the hell do I want to get up. I want to yell I'm resting because in a few years I'll be living in the bed of my pick up truck.

I feel so trapped. Each day seems to bring homelessness closer and closer. My future is just fading away and each day makes it move faster and faster away from me.

I've stopping taking my meds like I am suppose to. They just get me all wound up and I just want to sleep.

I feel so selfish wanting to pick myself and my Mom up and move. Financially it makes sense and it would give me a place to live in the future. A place to have roots a future to cling to. My Mom is 82 and very set in her ways. She wants to move closer to her homestead in the country but yet she doesn't.

I want to move because I can't support her where we are and save anything. If she does pass away before we move I won't have anything or at least very little. I'll have to sell the house to satisfy the will.

I'm very conflicted. I'm so tired......

 

[BlackbirdSinging]

I don't have an answer for you but I do want to offer you some sympathy. I know it's not an answer or a solution but I offer it anyway. You have a lot going on and a lot to think about. And on top of it you're dealing with PTSD. It's all a heavy load to carry. I hope you can find some kind of answers and get some kind of resolution soon that will help you figure things out.

 

[arfie]

I s'pose I oughta start with the warning that I am a crazy old gypsy who finds it easier to move than to stay put, but...

I feel so selfish wanting to pick myself and my Mom up and move. Financially it makes sense and it would give me a place to live in the future

How is this selfish???? It makes sense to this crazy old gypsy on more than just the financial level. Change happens whether you are sleepy, or not. Work with it. It is not outrageously selfish to want a place to live. Work with it. Methinks I would already have my road gear in the back of that truck.

Gentle support while you sort your way through your own, Bill.

 

[Bill Dickerson]

I don't move around much so it's a big deal.

Let me see if this makes sense. Sometimes I worry it doesn't.

My Mom is Social Security and I'm on disability. Together we can qualify for a loan.

My Mom gets about 850 but the house note is 560 and her secondary insurance is about 385.

Her house is worth 60, 000 but she owes 35,000. The value keeps dropping due to the neighborhood and economy.

I found a some land a mile from her brother for 16,900. A little over eight acres on top of a nice hill, dead end road, above a river delta. It's a farming community land very rarely comes up for sale.

We can get a nice double wide about 1300 square feet for about 52,000. It would be new and 400 square feet bigger than where we live now.

She has 20,000 in an IRA that we could use for down payment. We would not have to pay property taxes. At 4.5% fixed I figure the note should be about 342 a month if we used 15,000 of the 20,000 for a down payment.

Once the old house sales she should have at least 20,000 left over to put into a no load low risk money market account.

With place being in both our names eventually I would have somewhere I could stay and I could afford that by myself eventually.

Anybody see any holes in this?

Anyway the longer we stay here the worse it gets and I just don't see any future for myself.

I can't leave, I won't be able to save any money and eventually I'll have to sell the house to fulfill the will.

I feel selfish since I can't make it work without her and she can't seem to get her mind around it.

What little I will have left won't buy much and even with great credit no one will give me a loan worth much anyway. Maybe I could afford a trailer to pull with my truck. No place for Grandkids to play. No where to grow old.

I guess it just one of those dreams you can never quite catch hold of. I feel it slipping away a little further everyday.

 

[arfie]

Whatever the dream, there are gonna be holes. Plan on it. Filling in those holes is most of the adventure.

Your prospective partner in the investment looks like the biggest hole I see in what you laid out here. If she don't want to, she don't want to. No means no. You, however, need to keep shopping. Still sounds like pack the pick up time... Any chance of visiting your uncle for another walk through on that property? If not, any chance of forwarding me the listing so I can do that walk through? :D

 

[shimmerz]

change happens whether you are sleeping or not.

this is so very true. This is brilliant. Bill Dickerson, my heart goes out to you. Frozen is so frustrating. Is there just one small change that you can make during the day to help unstuck you? Doesn't have to much.

 

[Justmehere]

I don't quite understand why you can't leave?

 

[joeylittle]

I think your reasoning is really pretty sound, and it also doesn't seem to me selfish so much as smart. The only thing I noticed was this:

Her house is worth 60, 000 but she owes 35,000. The value keeps dropping due to the neighborhood and economy...Once the old house sales she should have at least 20,000 left over to put into a no load low risk money market account.

If the house is losing value and you want to move to a quick sale (plus whatever might come up in the inspection) - it's possible that what she would have left would be less than 20K. But that's not a flaw in your reasoning, just a comment about how aggressive sometimes you need to be in order to sell a house in a declining neighborhood.

Everything else makes sense, to me anyway.

I found a some land a mile from her brother for 16,900. A little over eight acres on top of a nice hill, dead end road, above a river delta. It's a farming community land very rarely comes up for sale.

This just sounds fantastic, and maybe you need to keep selling her on the closeness to her brother and the quality of the land.

 

[Bill Dickerson]

(Justmehere) I can't leave for several reason. She's 82 and despite her being pretty independent I handle her money and I make sure she stays on top of her medical issues. Her short term is getting worse but overall her mind is good. She has fallen a coupe of times. fortunately she only hurt her pride.

I'm on disability so I don't have the financial means to move. By myself even with excellent credit I can't get a loan for enough to buy anything.

(Joeylittle) I've talked to a good Realtor and she said she should be able to get at least 60,000 it appraisees at 67,300. It's lost 4000 just in the last two years.

The neighborhood is semi stable. A lot of the depreciation is economy based but it is sliding. That and the current interest rates are good. That and my Mother's physical age means I'm just running out of time. Also the land parcel could sell at any time. I'm feeling so trapped. I'm at the point I don't give a crap if I get out of bed.

I'm just so angry right now. I'm angry at myself ..I'm angry at my Mom...

This is the third time she said she would move over the las five years. I thought I satisfied all of her wishes this time and I was hopeful.

I just got up in spirit just to fall back further. I'm tired of trying.