Clocks

[Kas_Can_Fly]

My therapist has suggested I should have a clock in my room to help me know "when" I am as I struggle hugely with disorienting confusion about this very frequently. For me however, even virtually silent ticking drives my anxiety and obsession levels through the roof and LED lit clocks are relate to one of my traumatic memories and are triggering for me. After much looking around, I found a product called "Dayclox" designed for Alzheimer's patients to let them know the time and date of "when" they are. Personally I'd find it more useful to have the year emphasized, but this seemed like a possibly very useful product and I thought I'd share, although I am a little ashamed that I need to think about using it considering its target audience - I'm only 25!

Also, if anyone has any other product suggestions or struggles in a similar way, I'd be keen to hear from them. I've looked at binary clocks,the stunning qlocktwo (which is far too expensive!!) and some DIY equivalents, I've also looked at tablets/digital photoframes to be in a similar way as well.

 

[kagamine]

I actually do something like this, knowing the time helps me feel less disoriented when I'm really out of it. I just keep my phone on me and check the time in somewhat regular intervals. I don't know if she wants you to have it out and visible. I personally can't have the time out on constant display, that drives my anxiety though the roof, but most newer phones have options so you can see the clock on the lock screen and whether or not you want the day/month/year visible. That has helped me a great deal.

Honestly, I have to think about things like this too that most people my age never would have to even be aware of, but I've given up on feeling embarrassed about it it's kind of just the reality of what happens to the brain when living through trauma, especially prolonged and early trauma. It is what it is ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

 

[Kas_Can_Fly]

This is the thing - I want to try what she suggests because I want to be proactive and make an effort but I agree about clocks and anxiety. Yes, she does want it out and noticeable because she wants me to use it as a grounding tool and when I'm dissociated I often can't move my body and having something bright and clear hopefully should help. The problem is I'm so confused and disoriented at these times that I doubt it'll register and by the time it will, the likelihood is that I will be grounded enough to move any way/know i'm in the present, though I willing to try anything. Once I can move, my phone is perfect for this and unobtrusive. As for monitoring the loss of time, it's vague as I'm not usually aware of when I'm going, so it's always a rough figure, the thing is I'm pretty good at being able to guess what times it is by the ambient lighting around me - providing I'm conscious enough to register it. Basically - what she wants me to have is something to help me stay/remain conscious and not dissociate unnecessarily - I just don't think a clock will cut it, but I could be wrong.

 

[Neverthesame]

I don't know if this will make you feel any better or not, but. I have a terrible memory for names, titles and passwords. I drive myself crazy when it comes to things like this website or my email account. I have had to reset the password for my email 3 times this week alone. Now that I think of it, I have to do it again... Damnit. But anyway, my point. You should never feel silly using anything that makes life easier for you. Simply because the target demographic of a product is for elderly dementia patients. Just my two cents.
Now, if only I could find a way to remember to write down things when I still remember them...

 

[Recovery4Me]

You are in luck! Being a brand new year soon...consider going to a nice bookstore and get a happy & large calender to stick pin in the wall. Every time you dissociate, add another piece to the wall and make it a growing collage of happy victories! The honor wall or wall of fame, you know? Be proud.

Every single day, the 'normie' kids (ages16-20) at my job ask one another...what day is it? I get so happy when I hear them! Guess it doesn't take me much, huh?