Cognitive distortion about consent

[Mee]

Friday! This is the conversation I have with my therapist a lot!

I did not have a ptsd diagnosis before this event and was functional. I had experienced trauma, yes! But I was aware of it, had ‘forgiven my part’ as a kid and felt I had moved on. I was in my successful and happy marriage.

I was raped in the April and discovered this deception ( in an ongoing relationship) in the August. At which point I broke down, utterly started behaving very uncharacteristicly and dangerously.

I saw a dr quite quickly ( within a few weeks) because I thought I was having a ‘nervous breakdown ‘ he explained it was called something else now ( short term stress reactions) but that he thought it was something else, we’d see if I settled, prescribed drugs etc. He later diagnosed ( along with others) ptsd. , not cPTSD. My therapist thinks cPTSD.

I am over the ‘normal’ rape sort of. And was quickly. I think had this thing not happened it would have been ok.

I’m mad at all the stuff; that nothing gets prosecuted, or heard, or taken responsibility for. I guess I am keen to take responsibility because no one else will? But ... it’s not helpful.


Unwitting accomplice. Yeah. That I can live with.


I think there is space between stoning people or killing them for adultery and allowing fair, feminist, equal lifestyles and dissolution of marriage in a way that affords them to live. I think that the route through was abolishing a right to ongoing consent IS problematic.

 

[Ronin]

Ok right, though time dxd and time of having had qualifying trauma or the disorder itself are 3 different things? ;) if that might parse better.

Aka new trauma (rape) and new stressors (deception) sent you symptomatic/dormant disorder active.

// the responsibility part, youre not changing stuff by taking it for others. They need to, for themselves. Not happily grin from a far yet another victim beats herself senseless by stick they gave her and muddied up.

So... point stands. Not a criminal. You're not in any lair. Since some asshole cheating still ain't a crime... thus also not dragging you into one.

Friday wasnt suggesting you are a lesser charge criminal, from what I know of her. But that the whole thought train IS abused person distortion / taking blame, where no actual fault exists morally, ethically, much less legally.

Ditto my comment of what you've done as you describe it is pretty async with what I think of w rape/sex violence, and its harshness.

 

[TruthSeeker]

Thank you.

My standards not conventional standards.

i have never done the emotional abuse things I described for sex. I have had them done to me.

With PTSD.......being functional is all about safety. Always err on the side of safety....and you'll be okay. So, I agree with Ronin, time to forgive yourself....if you need to, look at how you could do differently in the future, let it go, and move on. Good luck.