Colorful and hopefully optimistic but maybe hateful occasionally

[littleoc]

Oh, shit, yeah, that was basically a summary of my relationship with Brandi

You have a point

 

[ILoveLife]

We tend to find them close to home, that's for sure :meh:

It's good that you can be aware of that though, being mindful of your boundaries.

"I want to help her but she doesn't cooperate" is you letting your boundaries down and allowing her to take over your life.
My immediate thought was, "What, is she taking her mom with her when she leaves? Hell no." So, I swear I'll fly to the US and not allow that to happen. :P

 

[littleoc]

(Do you wanna connect on Instagram or something by the way? So we can see each other when we’re taking breaks from the crap that is trauma talk? I don’t post much but when I do it’s Nestle and cats lol

Not for trauma talk, just for hobbies. Wait, you don’t have an Instagram, do you? Lol. Feel free to not answer. It’s cool if you don’t feel comfortable with that)

But anyway. It’s odd that you say that because my original plan was to have my mom live with me so I could take care of her. I would never do that for my dad, but I just feel like my mom deserves someone to care. I have decided against it in the interest of self care. It makes me sad but it is what it is.

She may have made a friend today though, so that is fantastic. I sort of ruined her mood but she might feel happy again about it later. She’s got options. I really need to quit worrying about others. I’ve already done all that I can and it’ll have to do

Really sucks though

 

[littleoc]

For some reason my phone keeps autocorrecting “she” to “Shevardnadze” and it’s driving me up a wall

Stay off my phone, President lol

 

[ILoveLife]

I do have instagram. I'll post it here for a second and then delete it, so you can get the link. Like this post and I'll post it.

I knew you were thinking that - one, because I've thought the same about my mom, and two because that's the result of guilt tripping!! :P

I think you deserve a unicorn for that ?

 

[ILoveLife]

Oops... link not found!

 

[ILoveLife]

Did you catch it?

 

[littleoc]

Yep!

 

[ILoveLife]

I'm followed by a lot of golden retriever's accounts for some reason :roflmao:

 

[littleoc]

Lol

And thank you for the unicorn!

I guess I was a little guilt tripped then. I still suck at identifying that. But I don’t think she’s doing it on purpose exactly? But I probably should back off. I seem to be causing more harm than good for her at this point anyway. As in, I want to help, but since she doesn’t want it, I’ll just end up pressuring her and it is not going to help. It’s just really hard to not be angry about it.

I'm followed by a lot of golden retriever's accounts for some reason :roflmao:

That’s amazing lol

I’m considering a golden for my next pupper

(People tell me I should cover Nestle’s ears when i say that)

 

[littleoc]

for what it's worth.

It was worth a lot, thank you :hug:

 

[ILoveLife]

But I don’t think she’s doing it on purpose exactly?

I don't know if she is or not.. I honestly don't think she has enough insight to do it on purpose, and not enough lack of insight to be purely instinct.

As in, I want to help, but since she doesn’t want it, I’ll just end up pressuring her and it is not going to help. It’s just really hard to not be angry about it.

This is the main issue though, it's evident you can't really help her. Seems like all your siblings have accepted that she doesn't want or accept help - or, actual help besides enabling her. I'm going to keep pounding that it's not your responsibility to save her.
I also think you should bring your need to save people to therapy. Often when we're not saved, we want to save others. It's frustrating, always, because that's just not possible. When we were kids we could've been saved, when we're adults we need to save ourselves.
Like me and my mom, I keep wanting for her to deal with her trauma, but she doesn't really want to. She has nightmares every night about her parents and brother, and I keep wanting to help her not have them. It's not our responsibility, really it isn't. They're full grown adults, and they were full grown adults when those awful things happened to us - they should've put us first. That's a fact.
We don't need to put them first to show them how it's done, they already know, they simply weren't capable of it.

I’m considering a golden for my next pupper

Same! Wonder how Flash would react though.