I just want to say - I am *not* excusing anything anyone's done here... But as a mental-health-challenged-dysfunctional-but-loving-mom I wanted to say... We don't always know these things. I can't even begin to imagine what putting myself first looks like, lol, so please don't assume that a parent knows anything or whatever. People do get trapped in their mess - when you've been living with a mental health disorder for a long time without any therapy, it's exactly like living in that hoarder house. You're trapped by piles of mess squeezing through the little paths you've made for yourself, telling yourself it's OK - and at the same time, hating it, but not knowing what to do. I'm finally *finally* aware of all the giant piles of crap in my brain. And OH I wish I could hire a cleaning service to come in and clean it all up for me, haha, but all I can do is pick up a mess at a time and try not to get overwhelmed. Denial is a real thing and it's not conscious or deliberate. I wish your mom *could* get some therapy. Like a lot of therapy. She sounds like she at least has good intentions and doesn't consciously want to be unhappy, which would help her a lot. But - she is an adult, and it's not your responsibility to save her. This is one of those things that people just have to do for themselves. :hug:We don't need to put them first to show them how it's done, they already know, they simply weren't capable of it.
Also - I hate getting the silent treatment. It's a trigger for me, as I was ignored a lot as a kid. And silent treatment feels like being ignored.
:hug: you're working so hard to deal with all this stuff - and it really will be healthier for you once you find another place. Physically and emotionally. :hug: