General Communication

[Strawberryshortcake]

Is it common for your husband with ptsd to not want to communicate? Mine won’t tell me little and big things. It’s hard to build trust with him. He says I want to know everything but he keeps so much from me. I feel like he does it to avoid connecting. I need support.

 

[Sweetpea76]

Communication is so tricky, but it’s so important for making a relationship work. Trust is also very hard-won with sufferers.

What is he keeping from you? How he is feeling? Trauma related issues?

 

[Never_falter2]

I think that unfortunately it is common.
When we were newly married our communication was not good at all - now it is better (not perfect, often it still is a problem but better).
I think that there are some things they never discuss with their spouses (but only with other ones with similar experiences) because the spouse just does not understand - but apart from that it is important for them to talk about things, about how they feel and they feel better after they did - but at the same time it is difficult for them and they might also afraid to be judged.
What can we do? I think we can tell them that they can talk to us when ever they feel like they need to or want to but at the same time not force them to. Find out what makes it easier for them to talk... for example my guy likes to have a drink and likes to do something different... like watch TV or repair something or clean something... he doesn’t like to look you in the eye when he talks about some things. So he stares at the TV while talking about difficult stuff. Sometimes he also likes to cuddle and be held.
My advice is: Find out what makes it easier for him to talk about things (for example if his hands have something to do, if he does not look you in the eye, if you cuddle him, if you hold his hand, whatever), if there are certain places or certain ours of the day he likes better for talking and then ask him if there is something he wants to talk about.

 

[OrangeJulius]

I think a lot of non-PTSD things can play into communication. And PTSD can certainly add a new element to it.

My boyfriend is generally not forthcoming with information. I think it has more to do with his personality than PTSD....but when he's in a PTSD funk its definitely worse.

He has no problem with me jabbering on about all the little things about my day but has little to no interest doing the same. I've learned to ask questions he can give one word answers to and then pause long enough to allow him to elborate if he so chooses. Sometimes he does. Sometimes he doesn't.

Frequently he will refer to something and I will have no idea what he's talking about and he'll say he told me or "remember such and such happened last week." I say no he didnt tell me. And he usually says something about he thought he did or it must not have been important.

*shrug* I think that's just how people are sometimes.