Comparing Rape To Being Cheated On

[Pencil]

I certainly hope it was not aimed at me

No, Abstract, then I would have said so - I don't use my elbows to nudge :). You opened the topic again, and that gave me the opportunity to say my say :D

 

[Abstract]

Sorry Alba:confused:. Going to bow out as I can't link what you are discussing with all the last posts. :) Its Ok. There are obviously crossed wires of some type here.

 

[Hashi]

Trauma in that sense is not what happened but how we responded

Doesn't it need to be based on both? If a leaf fell off a tree near me and for some reason I thought I was going to die from it, but in fact there wasn't the slightest actual danger and it wasn't reasonable for me to think there was, then I don't think I experienced a trauma. Even if I had responded as if I had.

I think this is where some of the risk of comparisons comes in. It seems to be like thinking that X was the worst thing that ever happened to me, and Y is the worst thing that has happened to other people, so X must be like Y. The actual event, and the threat associated with it, have been taken out of the equation. In my view, wrongly.

 

[The Albatross]

Then I am not a big respector of relying on psychological terminology in the debate... Many more for instance have had people who cheat than have had PTSD.

 

[Abstract]

I think maybe you are both not understanding what I said!

I am saying that not all so called big T trauma results in PTSD. That from the statistics the things that seems make it more likely are interpersonal violence, betrayal and shame. So a lower percentage of those who have a near fatal accident will get PTSD than those who are raped. Or those who survive attempted murder.

Nowhere at all have I said that little t trauma should be a criteria for PTSD. What I said is that it can still significantly affect peoples lives and cause great distress both in those with PTSd and without.

I said they were different but both important and that I think it is people battling invalidation scars that makes them want to say everything is the same.

But I am also saying that I think it is interesting that it is not how close one is to death that seems to drive up the PTSD statistics and it is such things as it being done by another human being, being betrayed (by a parent or sibling) or being humialated or shamed or feeling responsible.

Statistically someone in excruciating pain in a car accident left for a day will have less chance of getting PTSD than someone experiencing the same amount of pain but being tortured. Why? Why too does receiving help and compassion or understanding after or having a good sense of oneself before affect the rates of PTSd so much.

Thats all I was saying. That that leaves just a small opening in my mind about a possibility of someone being more affected if there was a perfect storm. But that perfect storm would not be someone having their husband cheat on them.

Essentially I feel the first part of this but there is just enough in the last part that makes me feel I want to learn more. To understand more.

 

[Abstract]

Oh Alba. I am not saying that cheating is in the criteria for PTSD. Little T trauma as a psychological term does not describe trauma in a PTSD sense of trauma that is officially thought to result in PTSD. It is a term that relates to experiences that commonly cause poor self esteem, depression, anxiety disorders and personality disorders. And for the latter it needs to start very young.

I think you might be getting stuck on seeing the word "trauma" and not seeing the distinctions.

Yes, many many people have had someone cheat on them. I really can't see the relevance of that in terms of what I was saying.

 

[Pencil]

I often feel like that :D

 

[Abstract]

Doesn't it need to be based on both?

Hashi thats why I said

So of the the people that would fit the experience criteria for PTSd

in the same post.

Pencil

:(:confused::alien::sick:eel like that

Like thinking you are speaking english and instead it seems everyone is hearing Spanish. The story of my life. :rolleyes::confused:

And Pencil I took out a comparative term and clarified in my post to you on page 2 as the original was not what I meant.

 

[Pencil]

I am not saying that cheating is in the criteria for PTSD. Little T trauma as a psychological term does not describe trauma in a PTSD sense of trauma that is officially thought to result in PTSD.

The issue here is not that little t is less than big T: Big t causes PTSD, little t causes complex trauma. Different things, and complex trauma is in fact more devastating, and far more difficult to treat.

 

[Abstract]

Pencil, they are both so darn difficult to treat aren't they?! Awful in different ways. And dealing with PTSD when ones sense of self and ones ability to regulate emotions and ones ability to have effective relationships is impaired is just plain unhelpful.

It is no wonder that the two added together make treatment so much harder.

Some big disturbances with personality etc also come from repeated devastating big trauma too though of course.

 

[Abstract]

Alba;) I don't think any of us are thinking of a husband that has cheated when we generally discuss little t trauma! More like long term emotional abuse, neglect, verbal abuse and lack of love.

 

[The Albatross]

Actually, the most difficult group to treat (and those with the lowest rate of recovery) are those with "co-occuring behaviors" substance abuse/addiction and mental illness or disorder.

I guess I got deleted because I put a gif without words. :eek: When I read "complex trauma is more devistating, and far more difficult to treat"

I guess my brain just doesn't work the way most others do. I sort my basket of difficulties and disorders into three things: Trauma, adversity, and consequence. It works for me.