Confused.. getting better? or delusional?

[RoadtoHappy]

So I’m really confused.

I feel like I’m so much calmer, my anxiety has reduced significantly, I’ve gone from 4/5 panic attacks a day to maybe 2-3 a week. Self harming by scratching my wrists until I bleed daily to not having done it for 2 months and my nightmares have reduced significantly. I’ve been putting in the work at therapy and am really feeling much more in control and that I have control over certain emotions and reactions.

However, last Saturday and then Wednesday just gone I had two of my worst panic attacks to date. I completely freaked out. I was so overwhelmed with fear and shame that I very badly and the worst I’ve done since I was a teenager, I scratched my leg so badly that it’s the length of my hand and and width of two fingers. It’s very painful and raw. I’m just at a loss as to how it all got so bad. Just when I think I’m making huge progress and am so much more relaxed in myself, all this happens and I don’t know if his shows I’m imagining I’m better than I am or if it’s just another bump in the road, the fact that the panic attacks were so powerful and strong and I scratched so badly!

I’m afraid to tell my therapist. My gisnavd really thinks I should do I took a picture of my leg to show her but really don’t want to. I’m afraid she will think I’ve regressed too much and am unstable. Too unstable to process my trauma when I really want to start!

Anyone have advise or been in this situation?

 

[Friday]

I’m afraid to tell my therapist. My gisnavd really thinks I should do I took a picture of my leg to show her but really don’t want to. I’m afraid she will think I’ve regressed too much and am unstable. Too unstable to process my trauma when I really want to start!

ABSOLUTELY tell your therapist! :D

And here’s why :

A little bit of symptom flare up? Is totally normal. It’s not a black and white you’re getting better and never getting worse again, kind of thing. Nor does a little bit of flare up mean you’re back at square 1.

Being honest about when things kick off? Let’s you actually deal with them, and keep moving forward; instead of trying to hide them, and everything getting worse.

Think of having a cold for a moment. You know how sometimes you start feeling better, then do too much? What happens if you take a nap that afternoon and slow down? The next day you’re back to getting better again. Meanwhile what happens if you just keep pushing, and pushing, and pushing? You end up sick for weeeeeeeks, with the cold that will not die :wtf: Being honest about getting sicker let’s you change your schedule around to actually take care of yourself (rest, fluids, rest), and you get better a whole helluva lot faster than when you are so determined to “not”be sick, that you end up sick for ages.

Symptom spikes aren’t a failure, or something to be ashamed of and hide. They’re totally normal. They happen. And being honest about them gives you a major advantage... because you’re dealing with what is actually happening.

Do we want to engage with what we think should be happening, or what is happening?

Do we want to do what we think will help, or what will actually help?

Do we want to be right, or do the right thing?

^^^^
Life Hack ie One of the groups of Q’s I’ve learned to ask myself when I’m in this kind of situation.

 

[EveHarrington]

Yes, tell your therapist.

If you hide this, you could make processing INFINITELY worse. It’s better to take the time to be stable rather than push through.

Sometimes when getting better, the incidents can reduce in frequency but become worse in intensity when we do have them. It’s just how healing goes sometimes. It doesn’t mean that you are getting worse.

 

[Justmehere]

Setbacks are a normal part of the process of recovery. In fact, it’s really common for things to get worse at times before they get better.

You are getting better overall, and that positive gain is not lost with a bad spike in symptoms. You’ll likely be able to get stabilized again.

Talk to your therapist and use this as chance to grow and be even more prepared to process trauma when the times comes.

 

[Freida]

I totally understand! I felt like a total loser when I had setbacks..then t explained they were a normal part of the procesprocesss. I was so glad I told her because otherwise it would have made me crazy