Contradiction

[LucyLou]

Do you ever feel like you contradict yourself in therapy? I don't know why I'm thinking about this more now....or if I'm realising it more now, with therapy

Why do I contradict myself? Makes me wonder what my therapist thinks of me.

I tell my therapist that I'm not scared of little ones dad, because I'm not...but there is this apprehensive feeling, especially if I know he's out having a drink and then I'll sometimes take myself out and stay at my friends house - pretty sure that's not normal behavior in a relationship.
I say he isn't a bad guy really but have also said that if it wasn't for the little ones, we wouldn't even be together anymore and I just feel stuck because he's the financial provider.

I mean, we do occasionally get on well with each other but I think there are more issues than I've actually admitted to anybody about. Taking away the feeling around the intimate side of the relationship, that I've already spoken to my therapist about - He sometimes will do or say something to make me feel like I'm not good enough, I'm not doing enough or I'm stupid.

When it comes to wanting to tell him something or telling him that I'm going out to see my friend, it's much easier for me to do this through message, than say anything face to face because of how he reacts - he'll either moan about it and pull his face or think up some reason as to why I should stay in with him and little ones.... again...this isn't normal behavior in a relationship.

I think there is a lot of confusion around my feelings for him and I'm not sure if it's more to do with him being the father to our 3 children. I'm not sure what I'm posting this for. I'll probably go ahead and copy/paste it to my therapist before our next session.

 

[arfie]

we're all walking contradictions
partly truth and partly fiction
taking every wrong direction
on our lonely ways back home. ~kris kristofferson

shoot, yeah, i contradict myself constantly. i feel more than one way about most everything i care enough to feel about.

it's definitely a hot topic to bring up in therapy.

 

[Friday]

I'll probably go ahead and copy/paste it to my therapist before our next session.

1. Cheers. Exactly right. Also? Not wrong to process things out in advance of therapy… whether with friends, family, passing strangers, journals, music, etc. It helps.

Why do I contradict myself?

2. Because you’re not a simpleton incapable of thinking/feeling/believing/acting in different ways, different situations, different times? And instead have complex & subtle & evolving understanding?

Again? Exactly right.