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Core Beliefs & Counters

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Friday

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I’ve been meaning to write down a collection of my Core Beliefs for awhile now, but they still remain scattered across many threads (or let’s pretend this never happened :whistling: forgotten about almost as soon as I become aware of it; until the next time I run face first into it, and forget just as quickly all over again).

So I thought, if I’m having this problem perhaps others are, too... & having a place where one can jot down Core Beliefs they’re struggling with, or become aware of, might be useful.

If you have a Counter? Exceptions, toe and finger holds, something you use to work around &/or start shifting a Core Belief? Toss that on up here, too :sneaky:
 
If not saving lives, whatever I do is useless / If doing it, someone else would totally do it better & back to useless & stupid as f*ck as never knowing enough.

Countered by relating: other activities are useful in unexpected ways, so worth pursuing. The like of happy surprises / things that are creativity of other peeps, as that is full of life and care alike, hence beautiful.
 
I’m a bad person and deserve it when shit things happen to me.

This has a hold of me a lot and when horrible things happen to me and my family I automatically put that down to me.

Now I’ve written it out- seems a bit dramatic and wee bit ridiculous
 
“I am a waste of time.”
But really, this distorted belief has pushed me to be very productive and efficient so often serves me well too. In effect it makes it not true.

“I am not in control of me.”
This one is completely embarrassing. I am finding things like hiccups, snorts, sneezes, and coughs are desensitizing this one a bit.

“I deserve to be hurt.”
(Always true) This is a tough one!

“I don’t need anyone or anything.”
Such a barrier to so many things! Makes things so much harder than they have to be. Funny how it can coexist with this next one...

“I am not enough / I don’t know enough.”
This first one feels very icky and I deny it and don’t often identify with it, but I find myself falling into the second one often. I think they are really one and the same.

“Touch is terrifying and will end badly.”
I am so not a hugger but there is one very very very safe person that has started to crack this one a bit for me via our hugs.
 
All hurt and every bad thing in my life & the lives of others around me fundamentally stems from me and is my fault.

Counter: hmmm.

((( t u m b l e w e e d s)))

Turns out I could probably benefit from working towards identifying and implementing a counter..
I'll throw in a rudimentary "telling myself to snap out of it" until I come up with something better.
 
"I am not worth love, attention, or affection. I am not worth the care necessary for a human being. I have no worth unless I'm saving others"

I've been countering this with the new concept that ALL humans are worthy of basic care, including having emotional and psychological needs met. My therapist seems to think I'm worth his effort, so there's one counter. My friends think I have worth, and I'm not saving them all the time. I have to continually remind myself that ALL humans are worthy of having needs met, and I am most definitely human, so I am worth love, attention, and care. Even if I can't get it from the people who SHOULD be able to meet those needs, I can get it from other sources if I look long enough and am open to the possibility of care from others. That's a tough one...
 
“Im not meant to be around other people, Im broken”.

Counter the “I” wasnt predestined not to fit in because of something within itself. Things happened to me so that I dont know how to function around other people. Broken stuff can be fixed.

“There is no point in trying to get better, because each time I try I get beaten back down again”.
This is where I am stuck now.

Counter. Getting back up again is extremely taxing and painful, but I cannot know it just wont work. I have a complex illness and the way foreards is necessarily very complex too. The point is to find hope. Its a big point, I just hate time and pain.
 
jot down Core Beliefs they’re struggling with, or become aware of, might be useful.

Yes.

I‘m a deeply weak human Being
——must be strong all the time, too emotional= weakness, too compromising =weakness

I‘m not truly intelligent
___ others see my stupidity

Someone stronger than me should punish me and belittle me
___ because I deserve to be humiliated, and I will submit myself.
 
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