I am a 53 year old woman who has severe complex PTSD with DID. I was diagnosed in 2002 and have been through many years of intense cognitive behavioural therapy with a fantastic psychiatrist. I have been on many different medications over the years and am finally only taking Effexor.
I have an extremely dysfunctional family that is the direct cause of my condition. My father molested me from as far back as I can remember until he died when I was 12. My brother was also a molester, as was my uncle. I was super happy when he passed but was left with a very mentally ill mother. She had a calendar on our wall counting down the days until she killed us both. I have vivid memories of her taking me from the bath wrapped in a towel and handing me to my father, you can guess the rest.
As a child I tried to tell people what was happening to me but no adults would listen to me. It was wasn't until I was much older that one adult who knew what was happening told me that in those days you didn't say or do anything, you just kept quiet.
I have had many ups and down over the years since diagnosis as you can imagine. Up until just the last few days I was doing pretty good but have once again run into issues with my family that I can no longer tolerate and want to distance myself from them forever. I have already disowned my brother and sister and all of their family, with the exception of my brother's daughter.
My problem is my elderly mother and her sister. My mother is 92 and lives in her sister's basement suite. She should be in a care home but still does not qualify for assisted living to be provided by the government as she did not qualify on testing. She is pretty sharp still. My greedy aunt wants to kick her out and charge 3 x the rent she is currently getting knowing full well her sister has nowhere to go. I do not have room in my house for her and even if I did, after all the years of abuse I do not want her here.
I have never liked this particular aunt and have only been nice because my mother requested I do so for her. This week was the last straw for me. My 23 year old son offered to stay with my mother for 14 days while my aunt goes on vacation. He would stay in the separate other suite and look after things while she is gone. My awful aunt said he is not welcome there and that no one is welcome there and my mother would have to leave and go to respite. She pays rent and it is her decision. Anyway, to make a long story short, this triggered me as she had now turned away my son. I let it be known to the rest of her family what she is up to as she has been lying to them about her true reasoning for doing this to my mother. This woman is filthy rich but lost $ 1 million dollars in fines due to investments that were not allowed, money she wanted to give to her greedy daughter, so she told me she has to make that money up by kicking out my mother and charging 3 x more for that suite.
I have done everything I can to help my mom and to get past the abuse I endured because I know she is also mentally ill but now she is telling me I am causing problems for her! She seems to enjoy this turn of events and enjoys being bullied and abused by her sister. No matter who over the years my brother and sister have always been the "good" ones, no matter what they did to her from forging her signature and trading in a vehicle and keeping the money to trying to have her committed; did not get involved and in fact alerted her sisters to what they were up to and stopped that.
I want to walk away from this completely and never see or speak to my mother or her crazy sister again but I am feeling super guilty and depressed. Why am I the one who is always suffering and always wrong? Any advice please?
I have an extremely dysfunctional family that is the direct cause of my condition. My father molested me from as far back as I can remember until he died when I was 12. My brother was also a molester, as was my uncle. I was super happy when he passed but was left with a very mentally ill mother. She had a calendar on our wall counting down the days until she killed us both. I have vivid memories of her taking me from the bath wrapped in a towel and handing me to my father, you can guess the rest.
As a child I tried to tell people what was happening to me but no adults would listen to me. It was wasn't until I was much older that one adult who knew what was happening told me that in those days you didn't say or do anything, you just kept quiet.
I have had many ups and down over the years since diagnosis as you can imagine. Up until just the last few days I was doing pretty good but have once again run into issues with my family that I can no longer tolerate and want to distance myself from them forever. I have already disowned my brother and sister and all of their family, with the exception of my brother's daughter.
My problem is my elderly mother and her sister. My mother is 92 and lives in her sister's basement suite. She should be in a care home but still does not qualify for assisted living to be provided by the government as she did not qualify on testing. She is pretty sharp still. My greedy aunt wants to kick her out and charge 3 x the rent she is currently getting knowing full well her sister has nowhere to go. I do not have room in my house for her and even if I did, after all the years of abuse I do not want her here.
I have never liked this particular aunt and have only been nice because my mother requested I do so for her. This week was the last straw for me. My 23 year old son offered to stay with my mother for 14 days while my aunt goes on vacation. He would stay in the separate other suite and look after things while she is gone. My awful aunt said he is not welcome there and that no one is welcome there and my mother would have to leave and go to respite. She pays rent and it is her decision. Anyway, to make a long story short, this triggered me as she had now turned away my son. I let it be known to the rest of her family what she is up to as she has been lying to them about her true reasoning for doing this to my mother. This woman is filthy rich but lost $ 1 million dollars in fines due to investments that were not allowed, money she wanted to give to her greedy daughter, so she told me she has to make that money up by kicking out my mother and charging 3 x more for that suite.
I have done everything I can to help my mom and to get past the abuse I endured because I know she is also mentally ill but now she is telling me I am causing problems for her! She seems to enjoy this turn of events and enjoys being bullied and abused by her sister. No matter who over the years my brother and sister have always been the "good" ones, no matter what they did to her from forging her signature and trading in a vehicle and keeping the money to trying to have her committed; did not get involved and in fact alerted her sisters to what they were up to and stopped that.
I want to walk away from this completely and never see or speak to my mother or her crazy sister again but I am feeling super guilty and depressed. Why am I the one who is always suffering and always wrong? Any advice please?
