Crazy mother full of threats.

[Strugglingsaks]

My mother threatened my sibling who is 4 that she will beat him and fill his mouth with blood if he doesn't behave. It is a completely empty threat i know that and she only says that to scare him. Having been abused in the past by her ex husband, I lost my mind and began screaming that she is sick in the f*cking head. I do not accept this behavior I do not think it is ok for parents to exert or threaten with violence and she took this as me being a bad mood and projecting it on her. I think it is CRAPPY FCKING parenting. My brother then hugged my mom as if to make sure she was not angry with him. I got major major anxiety from the whole event and having already woken up in a shitty mood this really tipped me over the edge. Like is it not enough i am hypervigilant for my self but now it feels like i have to be on the lookout because my mom is going to mess up my siblings otherwise. This is why I dont live with them, my mom is great mostly but she does things like this that make me despise her to bits. I do not know what to do at this point this is not the first time she does this and it will not be the last and I just want her to stop.

 

[Ronin]

I do not know what to do at this point

a call to your local Child Protective Services &/or the police for the start might do.

You are absolutely doing the right thing in standing up for the kid, & your bro needs lot more protection from abusive mother than he is having now. So sorry you & your sib are going through this.

 

[Gs172003]

My grandpa used to tell me he was going to "skin me alive". I knew he wasn't going to do it but it meant I was in trouble. However ..I wasn't four years old either.

 

[Sideways]

Is she an otherwise outstanding parent?

It’s pretty hard to think of any context where that would qualify as ‘good parenting’.

On the other hand? If she is an otherwise brilliant mum, then - every parent is aloud to lose their brain occasionally.

 

[Ronin]

every parent is aloud to lose their brain occasionally.

(agree on your other observation)

who is 4 that she will beat him and fill his mouth with blood

Threatening a kid by anything is bad enough...
Hell, anything imaginary would be over the top if the kid is scared.
But this? Oddly fricking specific threat, that aint even a spanking or something normal but a beating to a veeery lil kid, so not only a threat, but a very graphic one, that kinda graphic is totally unnecessary... unless she was saying it for hers sake, and just enjoying it.

So sounds to me totally not like someone losing it with a misbehaving kid.
Sounded to me like an abuser, & a sadist at it.

 

[Sideways]

Sounded to me like an abuser, & a sadist at it.

Yeah, or someone who is themself currently unwell.

 

[Ronin]

or someone who is themself currently unwell.

yep, but since the OP in the original post implies the only other adult aboard (the exH? IDK, unclear if he still lives with them) is a proven abuser, prolly better someone non abusive steps in to take care of that four year old.

Edited to add, are there any family counselors, parenting support groups, care centers that could be affordable if the care of the child is too much where you are, @Strugglingsaks?

 

[Gs172003]

Is this the first time she's done this?

 

[Ronin]

There was this, @Zoogal

this is not the first time she does this and it will not be the last

as well as citing it for a reason to live away, i.e. it has been an issue for a time now. Or, abuse in other forms that was hurtful to witness, was.

 

[Gs172003]

There was this, @Zoogal



as well as citing it for a reason to live away, i.e. it has been an issue for a time now. Or, abuse in other forms that was hurtful to witness, was.

Ah I missed that part.

To threaten a 4 year old is pretty sad. To repeatedly do it is rediculous. The child deserves better.

 

[Strugglingsaks]

they are empty threats but i feel like making a child fear you is in itself bad parenting, right? she is not a bad mother she loves her four kids more than anything but its just that i worry that the four year old might carry this through his life as he is already quite an anxious child

 

[Sideways]

is in itself bad parenting, right?

I’d absolutely agree with this.

Someone earlier suggested reporting this to CSA. But actually you have a lot of options that might be more helpful to you and her, but especially for kiddo. Like, finding an appropriate time to sit down with her and have a conversation about it, and how it effects you, and is she okay...