I went back and we went over things and we figured a way out of it together.
what's the worst that can happen from confronting her and expressing your feelings? Confrontation seems to be hard for you but maybe it could be an opportunity to practice being assertive when things go wrong rather than run away?
This has been my experience too with previous ‘therapeutic ruptures.’ Although it’s been hard before, I’ve always gone back in to talk it through with her and it’s always been worthwhile and a useful way forwards.
I have never before just decided not to engage in any way for a couple of weeks.
So, I guess I am wondering what’s different this time.
I’m wondering now whether it’s that previous ruptures have been quite practical things where I felt she’d dropped the ball/let me down eg messy conversations about fees or her not following through and doing what she said she would do on something that was important to me.
This time, I felt invalidated, criticised, judged. And that’s new.
And when I spoke up in the session and said those things weren’t landing she didn’t seem to hear me and was just kind of on a roll. Which then felt more invalidating
So, in terms of what’s the worse that can happen by bringing this up with her? I guess, at least partly, it’s that I raise those things again and she doesn’t really hear me again and then I leave feeling invalidated again. And I know that won’t definitely happen. But maybe that’s a fear. Asserting myself and speaking up and still feeling unheard and invalidated.