Relationship Dating Ptsd

[AnonymousAnn]

I am afraid.

I have been dating someone with PTSD for three years now. He suffered a traumatic incident while serving in Iraq and was clinically diagnosed with PTSD soon after returning from his last tour.

At first it was trouble sleeping, nightmares, the occasional flashback, and bouts of paranoia. But the symptoms progressed... or maybe they just revealed themselves some time later.

In the beginning I felt I could handle it. He was extremely paranoid. Checking every wall, window, crack... thinking someone had been inside his apartment. Feeling that people were following him, when indeed they were not. While it truly made me sad for him, I felt I could support him. Shortly after our two year anniversary paranoia and sleep deprivation developed into incidents of rage. This scared me. Extremely angry outbursts for seemingly.. well no.. for nothing. Becoming utterly enraged over minor every day challenges...

When I started dating this man I was 60 pounds lighter, medication free, and genuinely a happy person. Today I am depressed, overweight, and taking medication for anxiety. I feel like I have to walk on egg shells and its killing me.

I love and care about him so much. Despite everything I deeply respect him and nothing hurts me more than imagining him going through this alone. I hate that he suffers from PTSD, and I hate that it has hurt him.

I don't know if I can stay... I shouldn't. But I can't seem to leave him.

 

[InvisibleSun]

I'm so sorry to hear about your situation with your boyfriend! I too have dated an Iraq vet with PTSD and I understand the struggle. Is he seeking treatment?! If not, then he needs to. If he chooses not to, then you need to leave. Bottom line, you need to do what is best for you at the end of the day. You deserve to be healthy and happy and no matter how badly you may want to be with him, you're love cannot save him. I wish it could...but it can't. I thought I could handle it in the beginning too but in the end...it f*cked me up. Don't let this drag you down. PTSD is a different animal.

I suffer from PTSD and although it is not combat related, I have spent the past five years in a relationship..and it hasn't been an easy ride for him. If I had not chosen to get treatment, he was going to leave me. And that was the best thing he could have done for him and I. A truly healthy relationship cannot function under those circumstances. Good luck and bless you!

 

[KwanYingirl]

Sounds like you may have developed vicarious traumatization, I hope you are in therapy for your own well being because if you keep staying with your vet, and if he's not in treatment, then I predict the rages will more often and will be more extreme. Stay safe, number one is your safety.

 

[Sweetpea76]

Do you have any kind of support for yourself AnonymousAnn?