Dealing with being seen

[TruthSeeker]

@grit I don’t remember my mother much at all- and I look down a lot- not at people, almost like it hurts - I think this camefrom their criticizing, and my fathers words- don’t turn out like your brother- and every criticism I heard had his name in it- just like your brother. He wasn’t around much but this resonated.

 

[InsertCoinsHere]

I feel I can empathise, when I out walking around I feel I’m the centre of attention (not in a narcissistic way) but as in a hyper vigilant way, I feel so on edge within an overwhelming mix of anxiety, defence mechanisms, beliefs, stress...

This causes high hyper vigilance which looks like paranoia but is actually high levels of vigilance leading to suspiciousness and catastrophizing. I feel like my world will shatter at the turn of a corner. It’s really difficult to manage this as my natural mode is to dissociate however then I can’t use higher cognition so it doesn’t help me.

What I’m trying is to ground myself by using my resources, lower my distress via mindfulness and active distractions e.g. attempting to focus the mind on singular point so as to slow down, deep slow breathing, and radically accept the uncomfortable feelings.

I feel by lowering the distress it enables me to gradually open up a little. If I’m overwhelmed I will have a hard time being flexible and open which is required in a dynamic world.

Trusting others won’t hurt me is another issue but I’m first trying to slow down an overactive mind and overwhelmed body.

 

[TruthSeeker]

Actually, a power nap sometimes can be helpful when I can’t ground or stop the headnoise-a brief method of escape but now I set the phone for 30 min and get up when it rings regardless. Then I can get going and out amongst others again. Often, a brief nap will stop the overwhelming feelings and hyper-vigilance long enough for me to get productive again and get going. It is my “go to” when all else fails.
I make lists of things to do daily. Checking off stuff on the list is positive. But to accomplish things- I have to get out- and be seen.