Dealing With The Daily Anxiety

[Frida]

I got the medication. I do the deep breathing. I exercise. Eat right. I paint, and read and write. I don't know what else there is to do for this constant anxiety about every stupid little thing......Even if there's nothing at all.

How are people dealing with it? The doctor says it's PTSD and we've tried a lot of different medications. I'm also bipolar, a different problem and that complicates things.

Years and years of therapy. I'm burnt out of many different therapists. And therapies.

There just is no cure for this. Just coping skills. There must be something I haven't tried.

I'm just wondering what others are doing or is this just it, I just need to accept this anxiety and stop trying to make it go away?

Thank you.

 

[Leah123]

My therapist has explained to me a method where instead of trying not to panic, I can take myself out of my head, away from the topics I'm worrying about, and into my body, just observing my breathing, heartbeat, pulse, etc. Noticing the rapid respiration and other symptoms serves to short circuit that anxiety response. She says it takes practice but really works.

I also have used chanting, hot baths, strong, grounding scents, focusing on a hot cup of tea and drinking it mindfully, and meditation. However, I'll admit, one of the most helpful things is just having someone to talk through it with me. I hope you find some relief soon. I do still struggle with this myself, I've managed to get triggered at the moment and struggling with a couple hours of panic right now too, but, I know it will get better.

P.S. It's not my thing, but I've heard others swear by exercise, don't know if you've tried that. After all, even a brisk walk will mimic some anxiety symptoms, the increased heart rate, etc. and coming down physically after vigorous exercise may help the body trigger the calm down reflex it seems to me. Makes me want to run out and take a jog, lol, if only I had time.

 

[franciemarnie]

Ditto Leah's methods.

Also I add salt to my baths - sea salt, like a cup or two. Don't use table salt - so they say. Anyway, sea salt drains toxins and much more. The bath itself is okay but the hours after are what's heavenly for my body.

Just got binaural beat meditative downloads for putting my brain quickly in meditative state. Will report on that one.

But I too find talking it out supremely helpful.

 

[BlackbirdSinging]

Anxiety is awful. I deal with it off and on all day everyday. That and hypervigilance. I wonder what people do to cope with it too. Sometimes I get frustrated when my therapist says to breathe deep. I feel like if I breathe anymore deeply I'm going to hyperventilate. It does help but somehow I feel like there's some "thing" that people do to help anxiety and I just don't know what it is.

One thing I do is I listen to an app I have that has calming nature sounds. I put in my earbuds and close my bedroom door and just sit and listen and yes.. I breathe deeply. I'd read that there's a chemical in chamomile tea that mimics that of anti anxiety and anti depressants. Studies were done and people said it helped. The article said you'd need three cups of chamomile tea a day to get the full benefits. I don't know if it's all a placebo effect or not but I do notice that I feel more soothed drinking chamomile than any of my other teas.

I haven't found anything that really takes it all away though. I wish I did because I get so exhausted and frustrated from feeling so anxious so often. I hope you find something that helps you soon.

 

[JennML8]

Could someone help me here. I was told last week by my therapist he will commit me if I am a harm to myself or others. I am not planning on being harmful to myself or others. I just expressed concern of not wanting to further my therapy with a psychiatrist nor desire to take medications. I do have depression and have had a past suicide attempt but I am not planning to do anything to myself. Because he is pressing further therapy on me could he have me commited against my will to a hospital?
Thank you in advance.
Jen

 

[franciemarnie]

One other thought on anxiety issue. You mentioned painting. I was curious if your anxiety goes down when you paint. And if it does, if it is something you can do once a day for a while since it is my understanding that when we work from that side of the brain, our brain waves change in a relaxing way, and depending on the images painted (maybe not The Scream!) might provide ample fire against that part of our brain that may be sending non-stop signals to dump stress hormones.

It is also my understanding that the part of the brain that responds to trauma - the limbic - only understands sense images, not rational thought. If I provide images of extreme safety and serenity to my brain, it may not immediately shut off cortisol dump and all that, but it could contribute to shutting it down.

I don't paint, but I write and I cannot tell you how serene I become when I write about the few happy peaceful memories I have from childhood (reading A Tree Grows In Brooklyn at my grandmother's - summer of 69) or writing a certain kind of fiction - almost like kids lit.

Just a thought.

 

[Frida]

Thank you for all your responses.

It seems hot baths are a common thing, however my anxiety in the after noon, a bath wouldn't work for. But perhaps I should try them in the eve.

I do talk to my boyfriend at the peak of my anxiety in the afternoon and it does help....I just fear it puts a lot of pressure on him that I think he's going to reach a burn out..he hasn't yet. He's stuck with me for nine years.

I do paint and once I get started I'm ok, but the anxiety I feel before is horrible I walk around with every kind of negative thought and question why I even try and and how I'm a crappie painter, that's just a little of what's going on in my head and years of therapy has not been able to reverse this barrage of negativity and anxiety.

I guess what I have to do now is just accept that it really is not going to go away. I'm having trouble with this realization.

Music does help on some days. I listen to classical and I do write...all these things I've learned in therapy...Haven't tried chamomile tea. But I do drink peach tea my fave.

I do appreciate all your responses though. Acceptance I guess is what I have to come to grips with.

 

[Leah123]

Hi, Frida. I'll admit my bias- I'm not a huge believer in acceptance, lol, so I feel bad seeing you feel that's what you've got to do. Maybe you need a different type of therapy or therapist? Some more work rewiring your anxiety response? I think it takes a lot of work, but I know, in my experience, it's possible. Of course, everyone feels anxiety at times, but in terms of the consistent, daily type, I do have hope it will improve for you.

 

[Frida]

Thank you. I will continue to try and hopefully get new ideas. I am totally burnt out on therapy though. I've been seeing different therapists since I was 16 I'm now 44. The last ten years has kept me out of the hospital, and I've dealt with a lot of stuff.

At this point I just have to continue dealing with what just is. I don't know anyone else dealing with it. I guess I was feeling alone. I used to go to a group, but that caused a lot of anxiety.

 

[pixi]

I've been diagnosed with bipolar as well as PTSD.. and I feel your pain. I've had YEARS of therapy and medication, and have felt totally hopeless and burnt out many times.

What I am slowly learning to do is accept myself - fully. I have trauma, I've had years of hurt, and I am not going to heal overnight. It's taken years to get to the point I am at, and I still have a way to go. I need to see the progress I HAVE made, and congratulate myself for being brave and strong enough to get to this point. I will be triggered, I will have anxiety, I will feel depressed. It's not fun, but it's okay. The more I fight myself for having anxiety and PTSD, the harder it is for me, and the more symptoms I struggle with.

We've been hurt, badly, by people or by situations, and we deserve love and patience from ourselves.

Learning how to cope with PTSD isn't a set destination. You don't learn the perfect coping skill and are fine. That's a misconception I still fall into sometimes.. "What's wrong with me, I've been in therapy for years, why is this still a problem?" I think healing is a series of learning to cope, and re-training your brain. IT'S HARD!! But we are constantly doing it, sometimes we're not even aware of it.

It's a slow process, it's a journey... we are always learning. Trust that you will heal. (I'm glad I wrote this out.. it's what I needed to hear! Thank you!)

 

[Frida]

Thank you Pixi. Wow, love and patience are hard for me to have for myself. But I guess I have to accept that it's hard.

I think looking at this healing as a journey has a better feel to it then accepting that I will never get any better then I am today.

Looking back to where I used to be and to where I am today, I am a lot more stable, so that is a good thing. That has taken years. Getting dressed for the day at one time was too difficult. So there has been progress.

I'm just having trouble with this anxiety that grips me on a daily bases. It's after I've exercised, showered, had my lunch, and then get ready to paint. And by then my boyfriend has gone to work so I'm by myself. I do all kinds of things to try and relax into my work, like sometimes I'll read, or write, or get a glass of wine, or lite some incense or sit out by the pond. I play with the dogs, all the time I feel so much anxiety inside, I can't settle it down. Sometimes I break down and take a klonipin...that makes me sleepy though. But eventually I will start painting, not before listening to the barrage of negative voices telling me what a piece of crap I am and how bad a painter I am.

I try to counter this with facts like people like my work, people buy my work, I have friends, I have a boyfriend, and a sister and a niece that love me. Naturally this isn't enough to counter the huge monster in my head. It's a battle. It just occurred to me though I could be putting too much pressure on myself with my work. I mean there was a time when painting was easy. Hmm something to think about.

 

[BloomInWinter]

Frida, it will not be like this forever.

The more you confront whatever the trigger is driving up the anxiety, the better your system begins to give you relief.

For those of us with PTSD, the basics are so important. "SHALT" which stands for not allowing ourselves to get too sick, hungry, angry, lonely, or tired without taking corrective action.

What are you saying to yourself in your head? It really does matter. When we're self-harming via abusive self-talk, we continually drive down our self-esteem and drive up our anxiety.

I wrote down all the negative self-talk I had going on, and I shocked myself. I shared it with my therapist and we worked on cognitive 'challenges' to each one of the negative statements I made. I tackled one at a time. Whenever I'd have the negative thought come into my head, which was beyond my control, I'd counter it with one of the challenge statements to begin re-training my brain to stop working against me.

Most of the voices I had in my head, as it turns out, were the same words my abusers had said to me which I internalized. The ones from my family were the worst and still are the most challenging.

I could identify each abuser's statements. Once I wrote it down, talked about it, worked on the challenges, gradually I was able to finally evict that abuser from my current day experiences.

It's hard. It takes time. It's very triggering. But it brings so many rewards on the other side that I can give it my full, enthusiastic endorsement. Cognitive-behavioral-therapy didn't help me process my traumatic memories, but it helped me to stabilize my life in all areas. It helped me begin to see where I was continuing the abuse against myself for the abusers. It gave me a real toolkit of many different skills to keep trying until one helps out in the situation.

It has changed my view of the world and the people in it. It's not a perfect fix, nor immediate. But I now have a choice whether or not to stay in a suffering, self-abusive state or take corrective action. The thing is, my abusive self-talk would put me in a "freeze" state just like when my abusers were saying those things originally. I couldn't ever get out of the freeze state to advocate for myself. My therapist, thank goodness, knew this and worked with me on prolonged exposure therapy. He'd slightly trigger me (on purpose) into a freeze state, then keep reinforcing my strengths and talents until I could respond. Then, he began triggering me more, and I began to be able to break out of the freeze state to speak up.

I was really ticked off at him a few times, LOL. Ok, more than a few. But, it worked! Now, out in life, I hardly ever get triggered into a freeze state by other people, so I'm much safer, more effective, and less anxious and vigilant.

I take no anti-anxiety drugs, either.

There is hope. It begins by changing the way we speak to ourselves. We must refuse to blame, shame, or hate on ourselves internally or verbally. Then new self-affirming thoughts have a chance to begin nurturing our wounded areas of our psyche.

I am able to tolerate my anxiety now. I no longer fight it nor judge it. I just allow it to pass through, and know with certainty that it will pass. I know that by taking action on my own behalf, I can make to pass a lot sooner.

I'm so glad for my CBT therapist, and for the year and 1/2 I spent in Dialectical-Behavioral-Therapy (DBT), which gave me many skills to decrease my symptoms and increase my personal effectiveness. I had to work really hard at it, and some days I still do.