Depressed for years

[essemmm]

Well. Like the title says I have been depressed for years. Probably 20 years. I focus on the negative, have 0 energy, would rather be de__d if I had the chance and generally hate living. I have gone on and off sooo many meds. Antipsychotics help but give me akathasia and impulse issues. SSRIs help somewhat but make me fat. SNRI helps but it’s not enough. I am coming to the conclusion I will never be happy ever again. I am wasting away and I just feel so crappy about it. What do I do? Also I have cPTSD, MDD and likely long covid.

 

[mszl]

Long depression sufferer from CPTSD here as well. Currently I'm deeply anhedonic with little too no hope it will get better. I'm in EMDR therapy so maybe I'll be able to feel again someday.
Medications haven't done me much good either.

What do I do?

Well you did a (good) step by coming here and writing about your problems.
You're not alone in this and here we all know how hard it can be and how it does feel.
While writing about problems and venting doesn't solve the problem, it helps a little. And sticking to as many little helping things is the best we can do for ourselves.
Don't be afraid to come here and write how you feel at the moment.
Have a hug cuz it seems you need one (thousand)

 

[Kitty_cat]

Have you considered any of the ketamine types of treatments? In combination with solid mental health support it seems to give me a fresh emotional blank slate where the past becomes more distant, and I don’t have as many sticky triggers. I’m sorry it’s been so hard!

 

[anthony]

What do I do?

Exercise. That is how you get past depression, and maintain keeping it at bay.