Dilemma Concerning PTSD Anger

[blackpearl]

[lang=fi]Oho, tämä tuntuu oudolta kirjoittaa omalla kielellä. No, ei se mitään !

Roskaa ?
No olkoot sitten, mutta mun pääasia on että niin kuin itse sanot että teillä harjoituksessa ja soddassa on kovat menot. Se antaa teille (joillekkin) inänikuiset vaivat. Ei ne jotka on raiskattu saa samanlaista vihaa ihmisiä kohtaan ylipäätänsä. Siinä on suuri ero vihassa mitä joutuu sodassa kokemaan entä viha ei sodassa olevaa vihollista kohtaan.

Mun ei tulis mieleenkään ottaa asetta käteen, mutta minä voin olla vihainen muuten vaan. Mun viha ei riitäisi niin kun sotilaitten. Oireet on aina pahemmat sodasta entä muusta kohtaloista elämästä.

Onko tämä oikea vastaus !?[/lang]



Ps.
Mitä taata takoittaa, ei se edes ole mikänn sana !?





I was about to say that the anger and the hatred you have to live with in war is much worse than the anger and the hate a con combat Ptsd sufferer has to live with. I don't like to touch this specific detail in this, but it seems like I have to say that the victim for rape does and will never feel self hatred in the same way than a combat Ptsd sufferer MAY do. I do NOT mean every one, tho every person is different.

I only talk about the different with the two types of anger as I mentioned and the reason behind it.

But I will of respect not go further in to about it tho I have not my self been in war. But I do know what WAR is tho.

Tank you !

 

[cherryblossom]

I agree with you, blackpearl. Your english is so much better than the translators!!
Can I suggest though, that you might like to add your 'country', into your profile, so that readers may see that there is a possibility for language and cultural differences in your posts. It's just a suggestion, and I'm not saying you have to justify yourself. But it may help to stop some of the conflicts you've had here.

However, I need to say this. You say yourself how you have not been to war. You don't however mention in this thread whether you were raped. (You may have posted in other threads, but no-one can be expected to keep tabs of every members history on a forum of this size). Yet you try to compare anger of a PTSD combat vet, with PTSD rape survivor. Why? How can you possibly begin to compare, unless you've been in that situation. And even if you have been in that situation, we are all different and all respond differently. I find your generalisations and catagorisations quite disturbing. We all have PTSD or care for someone who has PTSD. That is the common factor that brings us all here. Why are you trying to compare stories - who should be angrier etc. I am a survivor of rape. Should I be angry? Well at the moment I'm not. But my experience of rape is very different to someone elses, who may be the angriest person around. Combat vets all have different lives, see different things, and I can only begin to imagine what might have caused their PTSD, or how angry they may be, because I wasn't there.

Please consider this when you post. We are supposed to be trying to help one another not assume how others are feeling. You may need to be more specific to your own circumstances, because we all different. Sometimes generalisations just don't work.

If you feel able, maybe you could tell us if/ why you are angry. I think being specific may help you, and also help us, to help you.

Take care

CB

 

[blackpearl]

Hi Cherryblossom,

It will come down I think. I only get stressed and spell like a 1 year old if like "everyone" has something to say at the same time. :-)
I will also cool down with postings as I said. It's just that I'm new and the curiosity and fear bumps up in the beginning. I feel that some of you now have some idea of how I am. I will not post new threads for a while. Just to give it a break and come down my self a bit.

When I don't get stressed I can focus on my writing. Also this one is better, right ? ;-)

To clarify. No, I have not been raped. For me, and I mean really for me it is a difference here when we are discussing what's laying under the anger of type B in my example. A victim is never ever the one who is guilty hurting one self. But at the same time I don't like to discuss it deeper because I have no idea how complicated that specific question is and its effects on a veteran.

"That is the common factor that brings us all here."

It's true and I have not said that we would not have PTSD in common, just that there is a difference if we are talking about how to deal with the anger. This is only my idea and thought of importance for me. It's good to at least hear the other ones ideas even if everybody was wrong :-)

It's OK for me that Anthony thinks I'm talking bull or crap. This is only an thought in general and sometimes I think need to be discussed so that the combat PTSD sufferers and (those who want to understand more) non combat PTSD sufferers can understand each other better. It's only an opening to something for someone who may have something to think, feel or say about it.

Comparing and look at differences is not the same for me. But if you feel that this discussion is crap, not giving anything I will end it. No problems for me.

As them who has been raped respond differently to traumas as veterans do also. I have written it many times now that every body is different, but there is a difference concerning the reason to the trauma. But one again, it's impossible to me to put words in a veterans mouth, I can't say more than that from their perspective because I've never killed or witnessed death in that way they have. I can have an idea in my head, but reality is another question. Alright ?

"Combat vets all have different lives, see different things, and I can only begin to imagine what might have caused their PTSD, or how angry they may be, because I wasn't there. "

Exactly.

"Sometimes generalisations just don't work"

This is a misunderstanding. I don't put my generalization on any person personally in this forum. That was what I said, it's not an good idea. Me too am different from others who has experienced mental abuse and so on.

I hope I am clear this time, I mean not to offend anyone. Be sure of that pleas.

I don't get angry I get stressed and spell terribly and get harsh in my words if there comes 4,5,6 at the same time and question what I mean. I will clarify and tell you but I'm not able to do so if that happens every time I post something.

Peace
Blackpearl

 

[cherryblossom]

Hi

Your English is brilliant and your spelling also. However, your English is still 'broken' in parts, so I stand by what I said, in that I think it may help you to post your country on your profile, so that others can understand that English is not your first language.

I also already see a change in you. No-one has said that you shouldn't post here, or that you should post less. As far as I've read, it has been suggested that you be a little more mindfull of what you post and why. I already see a change in you, and commend you for that.

Obviously, I can't speak for Anthony. But despite being the forum starter he is entitled to his opinion just the same as all members are.

You ask us not to assume how you feel, yet you make assumptions about combat vets and rape victims feel in regards to their anger.

Do you want my honest opinion? Well I'll give it anyway...

Talk to us about how you feel. Tell us why you are angry. It's hard to talk about yourself. But stop the generalisations and talk about yourself. Then this community can truely help you.

Regards,
CB

 

[blackpearl]

However, your English is still 'broken' in parts, so I stand by what I said, in that I think it may help you to post your country on your profile, so that others can understand that English is not your first language.

They have to as well as I have all kind of differences in mind. I will think over your suggestion..

No I say I'll post less. I feel I need to. :-) In that way I'll be able to do as you wish.

But despite being the forum starter he is entitled to his opinion just the same as all members are.

It's all fine with me, really.

You ask us not to assume how you feel, yet you make assumptions about combat vets and rape victims feel in regards to their anger.

If I mean some personally I would have written his/hers name to be sure everybody knows that its pointed at that person. But since I've not writing about any specific person I don't mean to talk other than in general. Come on, my English is not that bad. Do you question all the new comers like this ?

Do you want my honest opinion? Well I'll give it anyway...

What if my answer would have been no ?
But since I'm here I have to deal with absolutely everything.

Talk to us about how you feel. Tell us why you are angry.

First of all I am not angry at the moment. In time I perhaps will open up more. But if you order me to do so you get the opposite effect. I don't get angry if it's not necessary. I have been through much lately and I need to take break from this kind of hard core therapy methods. Exposure is good, but there has to be room for some rest. I'm sure someone agrees with me.

But stop the generalisations and talk about yourself. Then this community can truely help you.

That did not really help. Cool down will you. Stop pushing me OK !

Regards,
Blackpearl

 

[Jade-]

Blackpearl, maybe it would be a good idea to start a trauma diary in order to vent your anger and frustrations. And if you don't want any feedback, start a private one.

 

[cherryblossom]

No, your English is not bad. But equally, it's not perfect so some members may find it hard to follow at times, which is why I suggested you put your country into your profile, but the choice is yours. And no, I'm not questioning you because you are new. But any members who causes conflict will get a bit of attention, because no member is allowed to disrupt the harmony here. But any attention will be short lived. Generally speaking, people here only want to help one another. With this in mind every new member is given equal oportunity to parcipitate.

I simply noticed that you had come into conflict with some members here and I was trying to help you. Both for yourself, and trying to stop further conflicts.

No-one is pushing you to speak about whatever happened to you. That really has to be done when you feel comfortable to do so. But equally, the only way you will begin to move forward is to deal with your trauma. Whether you do that here or elsewhere it doesn't really matter. So long as you get to feel better at the end.

However, in my honest opinion, as long as you use generalisations, you will come in to conflict with someone. The sooner you trust us enough to talk about yourself, the sooner you will get the help and advice you need.

 

[blackpearl]

Mam, I'm NOT angry.

Is blog an alternative ?

 

[blackpearl]

Generally speaking, people here only want to help one another. With this in mind every new member is given equal opportunity to parcipitate.

I understand that, but I need that help from professionals. I do read and take what others including what you write with me from discussions even if they are not so emotional. I still have feelings if I don't express them. If I do open up I know I will hurt somebody and what I know it's not anything you allow here. I try to stick to the rules as best I can.

I simply noticed that you had come into conflict with some members here and I was trying to help you. Both for yourself, and trying to stop further conflicts.

I'm nor arguing, I'm talking about something.
We don't have this mentality in Finland like either you are with us or against us. I know how you are, but I can't be American or Australian, I'll never be. It's not arguing, it's discussions. Swedes are like us if you happen to know them better. (But we are more stubborn and stronger :-P) You see ? :-) I'm still cool about this.

I DO listen to what you say.

No-one is pushing you to speak about whatever happened to you. That really has to be done when you feel comfortable to do so.

That's good to hear. So I can feel more relaxed and take the time I need...

However, in my honest opinion, as long as you use generalizations, you will come in to conflict with someone.

Thank you, then I know how it works here.

The sooner you trust us enough to talk about yourself, the sooner you will get the help and advice you need.

It depends, I'm not like that personally. But I understand your kindness and thought.

Thank you so much for your patience with me.

Kind Regards :-)
Blackpearl

 

[cherryblossom]

Ok - I accept you are not angry.

I hope in time you will be able to trust this forum, because we are really only interested in helping each other.

Yeah, a blog is an alternative, or a diary, as already suggested. No one cares how you get there - but I'm sure I speak for most people here when I say that I just want us all to be healthy and happy.

Regards
CB

PS I'm not American or Australian, I'm from the UK. Which is another reason you might want to publish your country - so other members can take cultural differences in to account too.

 

[blackpearl]

I understand that, but still I have to be careful. This is only because I don't want to hurt or get hurt. You need to trust me, before I can trust you. That's it.

Ps. OK. Then Americans and Aussies know my thoughts about that cultural difference anyway...

Thank you once more cherryblossom.

Kind Regards
Blackpearl

 

[Iam]

Jade is right BP...the private trauma diary may be a good place for you to start when you are ready to process again. Nobody here can force you to open up. That is your call and your call alone. The great thing is that when you do open up....that's when you will truly start healing. Maybe writing it out in the private diary, where nobody can see your writings, will give you enough exposure to feel more comfortable sharing with others. I hope that you will come to trust the people here quickly. I can tell you from experience that I have only seen and been given empathy and sensitivity regarding my issues. The few times someone here has said something that could be construed as harsh toward me it has been truth and has helped me get over a difficult road blocks to my healing.

Please understand what CB is saying about generalities. You've heard this now many times.....we are all sensitive to our issues. I understand that you are trying to understand the opinions of other people here. It's just that there really is nothing about PTSD that is common to everybody in a specific group. It's in the specifics that we start to heal and I assume, maybe wrongly, that healing is the reason that you've come to this forum?

Good luck with your journey!