Just to double-check, is the meditation trauma-informed?I am trying to be more present in my life and connect with folks over zoom, whilst meditating, whilst really good, it is overwhelming.
When I feel overwhelmed, I also turn to food. It isn't ideal, but it is also one way our central nervous systems have learned to calm themselves, especially when all else fails (or when we're so overwhelmed that we cannot think).
Are you finding the overwhelm from the zoom meditation to be manageable (or unmanageable), on average? Would taking a couple 3 min breaks from the zoom call help modulate the overwhelm? (I definitely would need to find a way to take some breaks to recenter in myself because it would be too much otherwise.)
I also miss my sisters and brothers, and it's not their fault or mine really how things have turned out. Our parents were so corrosively destructive to everyone around them. My Mother was really unfair and manipulative but my reactivity made me an easy target.
I relate to being an easy target due to being reactive. In case you have also tended to blame yourself for this, your reactivity should not have been used in that way.
With you. This happens to me, as well. (And I do not like it.) I hope people have, on the whole, been understanding? How are your communication skills when you aren't dissociating?My communication skills are really poor with people in real time. I dissociate a lot.