Dissociation and anxiety preventing employment

[Tj's Paradigm Shift]

Currently, my life and ptsd is worse than it's ever been yet I need to have productive goals like getting a job. I'm gripped by ptsd. Any suggestions?

 

[TruthSeeker]

Artistic things for anxiety helps me( art, poetry, or playing music. When I’m anxious, I feel best when I can get it out in some form-expressive. Art focuses your attention on something positive, is distracting and at the same time it helps to relieve anxiety and express myself in a positive way. I can paint/draw anywhere with an IPAD and Ive been taking different art lessons in clay modeling, watercolor, and drawing. I play an instrument regularly, and playing for seniors in a group is giving back. I didn’t learn to read notes till I was much older-so don’t let that stop you!
Getting with other positive creative people has helped, and mindful practices also help.

 

[Tj's Paradigm Shift]

Artistic things for anxiety helps me( art, poetry, or playing music. When I’m anxious, I feel best when I can get it out in some form-expressive. Art focuses your attention on something positive, is distracting and at the same time it helps to relieve anxiety and express myself in a positive way. I can paint/draw anywhere with an IPAD and Ive been taking different art lessons in clay modeling, watercolor, and drawing. I play an instrument regularly, and playing for seniors in a group is giving back. I didn’t learn to read notes till I was much older-so don’t let that stop you!
Getting with other positive creative people has helped, and mindful practices also help.

Thank you Wilbur for suggesting a creative outlet. My current situation and depression is traumatic meaning no interest but it is important to reintegrate.

 

[TruthSeeker]

Thank you Wilbur for suggesting a creative outlet. My current situation and depression is traumatic meaning no interest but it is important to reintegrate.

It doesn’t have to be an interest but it can provide a bit of release- which will help you feel better. Great fodder for your T. Sessions. . Just paint the colors you see, draw the images, write the words, get it out so you can look at it. Write a limerick. It can be highly therapeutic and a good catalyst for a much needed cry or reframing of something you saw as skewed. . Right now, I’m drawing and painting my parts- they each are different, have a different function, and even one is an exile by the system. I have been depressed but decided action was necessary to move through it all. I also just finished drawing my power animal- eagle. Gonna mount it on blue black paper.

 

[EveHarrington]

my life and ptsd is worse than it's ever been yet I need to have productive goals like getting a job. I'm gripped by ptsd. Any suggestions?

Can you elaborate?

It’s hard to know what to suggest because the worst to one person may be far different than the worst to another.

 

[TruthSeeker]

@Tj's Paradigm Shift -I retired a bit early but everyone does not deal w their PTSD knowingly at retirement age. Many here are younger which presents issues w employment. I figured out what I was doing wasn’t working- and needed a change. I made it through until the past couple of years, fell apart, and just couldn’t get my sh’x back together in the classroom. Way too much stress in teaching from many directions without administrative support. While teaching, I started an online business from home selling educational materials. I am creative, like so many others here, and an online business that I controlled and could do at home around my PTSD treatment has been super helpful. I also moved away from all the drama and have my personal time and space that don’t allow any drama to cross my doorstep. This helps keep me feeling safe in my home, and helps with structure. I recently picked up a business partner and that has de- stressed things a bit further- I made her manager for a cut of the profits. A no guilt solution. Gives me goals for $ and time for other things, too. I make time each day for being creative and wrap a lot around therapy goals (functional goals) which help me with structure and $. I use my talents and the things I do well to make educational materials in this online business. There is a market in educational clipart, photography, teaching materials, if you are a creative.

My biggest struggle is separating myself from the drama successfully, getting a schedule, forward momentum, improving over time, and then wanting to re-establish old unhealthy relationships( a huge loss nevertheless) - hoping they’d be better- yeah- no. Moving on and making safe new relationships is a slow process and can be very lonely even w friends to do stuff with. Missing two family members has been the hardest.

So, I know when I left the fold, so to speak, my T mentioned safety goals first and that’s what I worked on. So how do you keep yourself safe( as simple as things you do daily, on a regular basis? I started with personal care ( a bath/shower), always clean clothes- even if they are pJs, 3 reasonable squares a day, stepping on the scales, teeth care, going out dressed( not in pJs), having proper food in the house, batteries on hand, cell phone charger, extra water on hand, emergency preparedness, Regular medical checks/a mental health plan/ treatment that I feel is trusting, and being always physically comfortable? Heat/air work? If you are in real potential physical danger, like I was, you got a get-away plan( $, car keys on person, a credit card and cash stash, food snacks car, blanket and pillow to go if needed- and a destination? I spent a year and a half just on safety and functionality. Read lots of books about the necessity of feeling safe, understanding what I do well and don’t do well, and it’s importance in the therapy process, bought stuff like clothes that fit from thrift stores, made stuff for the house, changed locks, and made my house a home( still a major project underway).
Staying grounded, knowing what grounds me quickly ( popsicles, mints, rubbing a texture, looking at the trees and colors, working w my spiritual side( not religion) has made me much more self compassionate and helps keep me safe and resolve issues internally.

I had to work hard on eliminating self sabotage and it still creeps back but I’m stronger and better able to handle it.

Working with urges - eating for comfort a huge struggle and not a safe one then I’d binge/purge and feel awful physically. I’m now safer as Im able to fight back at those “it’s no use- give up internal messages” -here eat a potato or Mac and cheese, and am stronger at dealing with wants vs needs, and understanding the different needs vs wants of my parts ( saved me lots of money!).

Learning my pleasurable distractions( creative projects that satisfy my parts, writing, poetry, clay, water color and ink; wildlife, floral, landscape photography, music( playing/ listening) computer games, exercise- water aerobics for me) and drawing clip art On the IPAD, (then selling it,) among many other 3D projects has helped. Doing things w my hands seems to make me feel competent and good about accomplishments. What makes you tick? What areas are or were you creative in? There are classes you can take in art, learn an instrument, or pick up a hobby.

Let me be clear(IMO) computer games for more than 15 min can be a healthy distraction in moderation but not for all day- that’s moved into seclusion and in most creatives I know-dissociation becomes a productive process- but exclusivity is not so healthy. I keep a daily schedule on my cell and 3 months worth of whiteboard calendars next to my bed which helps me stay organized and plan daily so I wouldn’t find myself painting or doing music more than a few hrs.

Creatives seem to naturally dissociate into the most pleasant feeling only artsy world, and In my opinion, we derive great personal satisfaction and self esteem from products we make while communicating through an alternative medium.
Days of this letting the laundry, dishes, and house go can be equally unbalanced and unhealthy and not always safe( I would forget meds, meals, appointments- not so safe) etc. so always live and do w safety and w regularity.

Mindfulness, exercise ( a huge help as it changes the body’s chemistry naturally and helps w sleep regulation), like brisk walking, dancing, jogging, treadmill, hiking, yoga, Reiki, massage, etc are also popular. I like water aerobics because I’m overweight and I don’t feel sore afterwards. Many woman wear shorts in the pool and water shoes and T shirts so the bathing suit isn’t an issue.

So, keeping health and safety of body, mind, and if you desire spirit, what would be safety things you are doing successfully and what strategies are you using to be successful right now? Then what else do you need to do to be even more functional, reliable, comfortable, happy and safe? What can you improve internal communication wise to help you be safe and more functional? What are 3 new goals you feel you can achieve in the next 6 months?

 

[grit]

When I started therapy and I was dissociating by the drop of a hat and it was after a fiasco of my last job which I had to leave (OK terminated for being unsuitable). I decided to do two things: I volunteer for something I loved it. I got a job that was not taxing and I could do with my eyes closed with a lot less pay. I did this cause dissociation my brain couldn't handle stress or alertness so I kept that low paying job but easy on the brain until I got the job I have now - higher and more pay and greater prospects in the future.
If money is not the biggest factor (if you could get away for 6 yrs of not working) then do a job you can handle to get back on the game. it is also good for confidence and trust me you will learn something new and meet interesting people.
the low paying job manager was instrumental to my new job.

 

[Tj's Paradigm Shift]

When I started therapy and I was dissociating by the drop of a hat and it was after a fiasco of my last job which I had to leave (OK terminated for being unsuitable). I decided to do two things: I volunteer for something I loved it. I got a job that was not taxing and I could do with my eyes closed with a lot less pay. I did this cause dissociation my brain couldn't handle stress or alertness so I kept that low paying job but easy on the brain until I got the job I have now - higher and more pay and greater prospects in the future.
If money is not the biggest factor (if you could get away for 6 yrs of not working) then do a job you can handle to get back on the game. it is also good for confidence and trust me you will learn something new and meet interesting people.
the low paying job manager was instrumental to my new job.

Thank you Grit for your wise words. That's it in a nutshell to help alleviate ptsd, learn to readjust, gain confidence and be productive.

 

[TruthSeeker]

Me too, retired early from teaching, use my many talents to do something I don’t have to emotionally and physically take home. Work on a home- based business. Left me time to deal with my own issues, reevaluate what is important, and reprioritize how I want to spend my time for the time Zi have left, and with what kind of folks, ...... amazing taking me in a whole new and better direction.....sometimes my smiles feel like they are really mine now- that’s new!. But try doing something you like and are interested in, find enjoyment cause you only got one life to live( this is a new view for mea and a job your parts enjoy, too!)

 

[Tj's Paradigm Shift]

Me too, retired early from teaching, use my many talents to do something I don’t have to emotionally and physically take home. Work on a home- based business. Left me time to deal with my own issues, reevaluate what is important, and reprioritize how I want to spend my time for the time Zi have left, and with what kind of folks, ...... amazing taking me in a whole new and better direction.....sometimes my smiles feel like they are really mine now- that’s new!. But try doing something you like and are interested in, find enjoyment cause you only got one life to live( this is a new view for mea and a job your parts enjoy, too!)

Words of wisdom to somehow go forward and reevaluate which way to go Wilbur. Thank you for sharing that.

 

[TraumaMama]

Hi, I can definitely relate to your dissociation and unemployment issues. I was sexually abused as a toddler, and when my trauma became re-stimulated in the 3rd grade, I became completely dissociated. I’m 31 years old, and I’m still completely dissociated. Yeah, it’s hard to function well when your dissociated. I can’t really hold down a job either, and I have a graduate degree in engineering. I’m doing a very low-key job right now, while I’m trying to recover. Hopefully things will get better for us soon.

 

[Keen]

Thanks for sharing your experience, @TraumaMama , its comforting to know there are others in the same boat.