Dissociative Parts And Body Pain

[Flowers In Bloom]

I experience severe dissociation and body pain. It began several years ago. I was severely abused as a child, and in the past, I was also involved in damaging, abusive, romantic relationships. I was sexual assaulted twice by male friends, as well.

I hear the parts of me that have dissociated. I feel their expression as body pain. My mind and body are in a constant state of torture.

I constantly talk (by way of thought) to each part of myself that has dissociated, to support them, to comfort them, to encourage them, and to clarify things for them. More recently, the parts of me that have dissociated are taking initiative and are supporting each other, comforting each other, encouraging each other, and clarifying things for themselves. I see progress, but it feels slow, because I still suffer incredibly on a daily basis.

It would make me happy to hear from other people that experience or have experienced trauma in a similar way. I am especially interested in proven methods of sound integration.

 

[Intrepid]

That's my experience too. I use the word torture to describe what caused the body memories.

I like the idea of talking to those dissociated parts. I've done that, but have not been successful at integration through it. There's still that part of me that is so hurt and afraid that it just doesn't listen. The dissociation remains.

I've been successful with integration of other injured parts of me. The success has come through a long process in therapy of building up my strength in that area, then showing that dissociated part of me that I'm now an adult who is no longer vulnerable to re-traumatization. I especially have to show myself that I won't be putting myself in harms way. It seems to me when I'm successful that I have turned the flashback or dissociated part into a memory.

Around the physical abuse I have a lot of layers of dissociation. It's really hard to deal with, since it's all about pain, self protection and avoidance. I don't like pain and will do what I can to avoid it, even cut a part of myself off.

I'd also like to hear about some proven methods for integration around dissociation and body pain.

 

[Ice_Fire]

Hi. Same here. Although it's only recently I've been able to communicate with other parts. Body memories are hellish. (((Hug)))

 

[Rumors]

I've felt too ashamed to admit that I have body memories. Gosh, it just feels awful, scary, and demoralizing. I am left feeling pretty hollow and lonely after they dissipate. Bad, bad feeling. No words. Wish I had words of wisdom or encouragement, but I can only commiserate in your journey!