Do childhood imaginary beings last into adulthood?

[Enaila]

I found myself dissociating this week, something I haven't done for quite some time. I also realized when I did so, some pretend people I had made up when I was being abused as a 7 or 8 year old were back. They are two older ladies and they used to punish me when I felt guilty for anything or if I got in trouble at home. I realize now I started self harming at about this age, but I always separated myself as being the one harming myself by picturing these two ladies and hearing them chastise me. I never did anything which left lasting marks, but I do remember being extremely isolated and alone in my thoughts a lot.

Anyway, when I get feeling overwhelmed to point I don't want to deal with things, these two ladies were there....my pretend punishers. I'm afraid to share this with my T. I'm ashamed and not understanding how I can just allow myself to convince myself to hurt. Again...not something which leaves physical marks, but does leave emotional ones as I am just convincing myself I am unlovable and deserve to be punished. Has anyone had this happen? I know the voices aren't real and I am the one giving them the words to say to me.

I know I will let my T know about the self harm...just scared to share this new revelation and memories.

 

[Azzydsk]

Hi. You are not alone. I have had a very bad teenagehood for being gay. And one sch instance I take on cartoon characters from my childhood. One of them is tails who I’ve aleays turned into and associated with when teased so he’d take the blow for me. Another is Resus, a rebellious teen boy who is outcasted. Amy is my love obsession personality, Cream is my violence and sticks is my fear. I thought I was alone.

 

[BlueAquarius]

Not exactly to yours, but during my teen years and even young adult years, I had imaginary friends. I knew they weren't real, but it was my escape to reality. I would go through painful experiences and also have them as a support system that wasn't there in my real life. I felt very ashamed about it and "crazy". I notice I do it when I'm very stressed out and want to opt out, but I have to remind myself that I have to stay in reality so I can improve and have a support in real life too. It's not the same as you, but I do think you should bring it up to your t. It's not uncommon. I hope that helps.

 

[One step at a time]

Voices and parts and imaginary friends are all part of many people's normal. If it helps you, don't worry about it. If it hurts you, there are lots of ways to go about dealing with that, and you can certainly enlist your T's help.

For me, a lot of them are helpful. It helped to ask what they wanted, why they were there. I learned that most of my (internal) voices were trying to help, even the hurtful ones, and sometimes I could talk them into going about things differently. Much more productive, when me, myself, and I can all work together.

 

[Enaila]

I have T appointment tomorrow. I'm thinking maybe I should text her and ask her to ask me about the ladies tomorrow, so I can't avoid or get off track. Idk. I feel so ashamed and embarrassed as well as fearful. At least I'm at a point I can identify what I'm feeling. The ladies I have imagined since I was little are punishers...they hurt, are inner critics, and until recently I hadn't disassociated or heard them for over a year.

I am being massively triggered lately from my youngest son exhibiting some behaviors his father used to. When I feel most out of control, the pretend ladies are heard, but only when I'm alone.

 

[Enaila]

I let T know. She said sometimes inner critics will have voices of abusers. She also reassured me I was okay and to just tell those critics no. We practiced some calming techniques.