Hello. I am so sorry to hear about the difficulties in your childhood, very upsetting. I hope you do not have PTSD though. Here are the requirements for a diagnosis of PTSD, but it can be confusing to try and self-diagnose, because there are a lot of other conditions that have some common symptoms. A professional can help evaluate if your symptoms fit the criteria you and give you a correct diagnosis to help you get the right treatment:
Criterion A: stressor
The person was exposed to: death, threatened death, actual or threatened serious injury, or actual or threatened sexual violence, as follows: (1 required)
Direct exposure.
Witnessing, in person.
Indirectly, by learning that a close relative or close friend was exposed to trauma. If the event involved actual or threatened death, it must have been violent or accidental.
Repeated or extreme indirect exposure to aversive details of the event(s), usually in the course of professional duties (e.g., first responders, collecting body parts; professionals repeatedly exposed to details of child abuse). This does not include indirect non-professional exposure through electronic media, television, movies, or pictures.
Criterion B: intrusion symptoms
The traumatic event is persistently re-experienced in the following way(s): (1 required)
Recurrent, involuntary, and intrusive memories. Note: Children older than 6 may express this symptom in repetitive play.
Traumatic nightmares. Note: Children may have frightening dreams without content related to the trauma(s).
Dissociative reactions (e.g., flashbacks) which may occur on a continuum from brief episodes to complete loss of consciousness. Note: Children may reenact the event in play.
Intense or prolonged distress after exposure to traumatic reminders.
Marked physiologic reactivity after exposure to trauma-related stimuli.
Criterion C: avoidance
Persistent effortful avoidance of distressing trauma-related stimuli after the event: (1 required)
Trauma-related thoughts or feelings.
Trauma-related external reminders (e.g., people, places, conversations, activities, objects, or situations).
Criterion D: negative alterations in cognitions and mood
Negative alterations in cognitions and mood that began or worsened after the traumatic event: (2 required)
Inability to recall key features of the traumatic event (usually dissociative amnesia; not due to head injury, alcohol or drugs).
Persistent (and often distorted) negative beliefs and expectations about oneself or the world (e.g., "I am bad," "The world is completely dangerous.").
Persistent distorted blame of self or others for causing the traumatic event or for resulting consequences.
Persistent negative trauma-related emotions (e.g., fear, horror, anger, guilt or shame).
Markedly diminished interest in (pre-traumatic) significant activities.
Feeling alienated from others (e.g., detachment or estrangement).
Constricted affect: persistent inability to experience positive emotions.
Criterion E: alterations in arousal and reactivity
Trauma-related alterations in arousal and reactivity that began or worsened after the traumatic event: (2 required)
Irritable or aggressive behavior.
Self-destructive or reckless behavior.
Hypervigilance.
Exaggerated startle response.
Problems in concentration.
Sleep disturbance.
Criterion F: duration
Persistence of symptoms (in Criteria B, C, D and E) for more than one month.
Criterion G: functional significance
Significant symptom-related distress or functional impairment (e.g., social, occupational).
Criterion H: attribution
Disturbance is not due to medication, substance use, or other illness.
